


Got You in My Head (In My Heart)

by DragonofFernweh



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Anxiety Issues, Coming Out, F/F, Fem!Noctis, Fem!Prompto, Friends to Lovers, Genderbending, Genderswap, Lesbian, Promptis - Freeform, Sexual Identity, also abuse of authority warning bc there are some unkind teachers in noct's life, coming to terms with yourself, while also realizing your best friend is beautiful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-10 09:23:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonofFernweh/pseuds/DragonofFernweh
Summary: Noctis has never been the perfect princess. From her inelegant habits to her attitude, it isn't obvious that she's at least trying. She tries to imitate her father's image, her mother's memory, and the straight-laced cutout she's meant to fit into. Study, learn, take the crown. Fall in love, marry, have an heir. It's so black and white. Why, then, when she touches Prompto, does color bleed from her fingertips and spill out of that perfect cutout?





	1. Chapter 1

_I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything, maybe we're from the same star._

ღ

"Honestly, Noct. Your hair gets longer by the day." Ignis' exasperated lamenting as he brushed and braided her hair was not unfamiliar to Noctis, and if it wasn't a part of her morning, she was sure she'd think she was dreaming.

Yawning into her hand, Noctis struggled to stay still and not test Ignis' patience. There were a pair of scissors in this apartment somewhere, and she didn't want him looking for them. "How am I gonna rule a country otherwise, Ig?" the princess asked, her yawn hardly having finished. "I can just tangle my enemies in it and win any dispute." Noctis could just feel Ignis' scowl in the back of her skull. She hadn't cut her hair in, well…she couldn't even remember. As a little girl, she'd once kept it short, but there came a time where she simply stopped getting it cut. Not that Ignis would ever allow her to look unkempt, so those split ends got taken care of almost before she saw them, but by now her hair was down to her waist.

It was a hassle, but every time Noctis thought about cutting it, she would talk herself out of it. Too much effort. Besides, what would Prompto do? She loved playing with Noctis' hair too much, she'd be heart broken. Half the time Noctis came home, it would be undone from whatever tie she'd put it into due to Prompto wanting to run her fingers through it and toy with it. Noctis never understood the fascination, but she couldn't tell Prompto no. Not when the blonde gave her those stupid Bambi eyes. Maybe it was because Prompto wore her hair pretty short, herself, she didn't have as much to play with. The golden locks were usually trimmed to bounce around Prompto's chin, a cute bob that curled and shone. Noctis' thick hair was far too wild for such a look, so Ignis was gonna have to get used to his status as royal hair-braider. "I'll remember to add "stylist" to your resume," Noctis grinned, all catlike slyness even as Ignis let the hairbrush knock the top of her head.

"You can add royal hair-cutter soon, Highness," Ignis retorted dryly. Noctis laughed as he shooed her out of her seat, pulling her braid to rest over her shoulder. The darkness of her hair looked stark against her white school-shirt—so much about her felt so dark.

Noctis blinked. Looked,  _looked_  so dark, that was what she'd meant. Jeez, she even tripped over words in her head, now?

"We must be off, Highness. You might consider sleeping with your hair plaited, if you insist on snoozing every alarm." Ignis had everything balanced with perfect ease in his arms, from his folders to his keys to that permanent cup of coffee. Noctis flung her bag over her shoulder and stumbled at the added weight, feeling awkward and heavy, especially next to her advisor's perfected dignity. Sometimes, she wondered if any of Ignis' coordination would rub off on her. Considering it'd been fourteen years and she had all the grace and poise of a "drunk chocobo," as Gladio once put it, those hopes were like chasing clouds.

In the car, Noctis fiddled with the buttons on her blazer, grateful that Ignis was allowing her to sit in comfortable silence. Ignis always seemed to get that about her, when she needed to just…not talk and not listen. She did a lot of listening. Reports, lessons, lectures…scolding from just about everyone. Her teachers who wanted the best, her father for when she lagged behind, the press for not fitting their images, Gladio for not training hard enough. Ignis, too, but he'd learned to space it out. It was probably for his own sanity as much as hers. Noctis was only tired. So tired of listening. She wasn't this, she wasn't that, she was too much of whatever, and she didn't do enough of something. Right now, Noct just wanted to pass her stupid AP classes and finish senior year, but with the crown weighing her head down, her face was pressed against her desk and she couldn't read her books.

"Someone's waiting for you," Ignis said suddenly, breaking Noctis' concentration. Her head snapped up, briefly worried about some photographer or other entourage, but she needn't panic. Of course not, Ignis wouldn't speak so fondly about any of them.

"Always," Noctis smiled. Prompto waved at them from where she was standing at the school gates, her smile brightening what had been the start of a morning spent brooding. It'd been that way since the start of high-school, Prompto never forgot to greet Noctis in the mornings. Even if one of them missed school, there was that unfailing good morning text. "I'll see ya later, Specs. Don't forget to eat lunch today," Noctis told her overworked advisor, gathering her bag and herself before she left the car. If ordering self-care was an abuse of her powers, Noctis would turn a blind eye.

"Morning, sunshine!" Prompto beamed, slinging an arm around Noctis' waist and falling into step beside her. Everyone around them was dragging their feet, or doing frantic touches to (or perhaps, just starting) their homework, stifling yawns all the while. Prompto was a boisterous puppy in a zoo of sloths.

Noctis raised two fingers to Prompto's lips, soft against her fingertips. "Ssh," Noctis hushed, drawing out the sound for good effect while Prompto rolled her eyes. "Too early," the princess sighed, and oh how she wished she, too, could drag her feet to class. Prompto walked with a bounce in her step, though, and with her arm on Noctis' hip, she was trapped for the ride.

"School could start at, like, one o'clock and you'd still whine about being tired." Prompto's accusation made Noctis glower at her, widening the blonde's smile. "See? I'm always right!"

"You're always loud," Noctis grumbled, bursting out into a laugh not a second later when Prompto dug her fingertips into her best friend's sides. "Prom, knock it off!" Noctis wheezed, squirming and twisting until she could dance out of Prompto's reach. See, this was why she told Ignis she didn't need coffee in the mornings.

Standing with her hands on her hips, Prompto smirked in victory. "Always right!" she said again, nodding her head with finality.

Feeling disheveled and light, Noctis blew a strand of her hair out of her face. "Cheating doesn't make you right!" she exclaimed, "in fact, I'll outlaw tickling as soon as I'm crowned." Noctis folded her arms at that, raising her chin as she dared Prompto to come up with something against that.

And, she did. Prompto sniffed and waved her hand, brushing off the threat like it were a moth. "I'm the best friend, I'm totally above royal decrees when you make 'em!"

That…wasn't how laws worked, Noctis was pretty sure. But, looking at Prompto's smile that glowed with laughter, she couldn't deny that, yeah, she'd probably exempt Prompto from whatever she could. Usually. Prompto still occasionally got caught in a lecture alongside Noctis, when Ignis caught them awake at an "entirely heinous" hour, or some such. "Or, I could just have you arrested and come say "I told you so" in your cell."

Prompto had a whole speech prepared for that, no doubt about how if she ever got arrested it'd be doing something alongside Noctis. But, right when she opened her mouth, the bell rang. Wide eyes blinked as Prompto stood with her mouth hung open, Noctis staring back at her with similar owlish eyes as the ringing echoed around them.

"Think you can use that royal decree to get us into class without a late pass?"

"Worth a shot."

* * *

It had not been worth a shot. They'd gotten into class, but it was Prompto's charm, not Noctis' title. The teacher had no use for that, but Prompto's sweet smile could convince a lion to let go of a gazelle. Noctis couldn't even get her own school to listen to her—which, she supposed, should be the right thing. It'd be unfair for her title to get her anything special, but…still. How was she going to leverage against enemies or with allies if she couldn't use it to get one—not even strict—teacher to forgive her?

Some princess.

Noctis' pen tapped on her journal, where notes were scrawled in cursive that had been painstakingly instilled in her. They were jumbled, written only when she bounced back and forth between the lesson and her own head. She had classes today, then afterwards she had training at the citadel, and then Ignis had a meeting that she knew she'd have to experience as a repeat.

She tightened the grip on her pen. It'd been a few days since she'd last seen Gladio; he had gone on a trip with Cor outside Insomnia, so their training sessions had been put on a short break. She hadn't done any of the exercises he'd told her to, so he was probably gonna kick her ass today when she was stiff from lack of practice. Not to say he didn't tend to kick her ass, anyway, but she had a few tricks up her sleeve, too. He'd gone soft lately. Was it unfair to kiss him to distract him? Eh, ethics, neither here nor there. She wasn't all that good at kissing, anyway. She couldn't move quite right, feeling more like an awkward doll with jerky movements. Every time she tried, she just felt like she was doing it wrong and wanted to make it fast. Gladio always had so much more experience over her, she didn't want to give him another thing to gloat over.

From the corner of her eye, Noctis noticed Prompto was doodling instead of taking notes. A dainty few paragraphs were written, to the blonde's credit, but now she was drawing loopy swirls and abstract shapes on the margins. Noctis watched as Prompto raised one hand to her mouth, tapping her red nails against her lip. How Prompto's lips were so soft, Noctis would never get. She, herself, chewed on her lips almost daily. Maybe it was that pink chap-stick Prom wore, the one that made her lips so shimmery. What if Noctis asked to borrow it sometime, to see if it worked? Prompto probably wouldn't mind. It was her favorite, she wore it all the time, she'd be excited to share it. Noctis licked her lips at the thought, picturing the chap stick that had touched Prompto's mouth so often against hers.

"Noct?" Prompto whispered, startling Noctis and making her pen clatter to the floor. Luckily, with everyone so absorbed in their own crises during class, only a few glances shot her way. Prompto smiled as she reached down to fetch the pen before it rolled away, setting it back on Noctis' desk and tapping the dark-haired girl's journal. "Stop spacing out, silly!"

"Right, yeah. Sorry," Noctis said, rubbing the back of her neck. It was warm, but she guessed that was because of her heavy braid lying against it. The rest of class, Noctis never did find her way back out of her head.

Noctis' classes were mostly separate from Prompto, aside from their morning period and their last one, which was their free one. On one hand, Noctis had the chance to concentrate again, but on the other…concentration was elusive, today. It had been for a few weeks, now, and it showed on her grades. They were still high, scoring in the nineties, but they were dropping perilously close to the eighties, and if she started getting Bs, Noctis feared what her father and teachers would say. Her teachers had no slack for her, they expected the best and always had.

She remembered being in middle school while her physics teacher eyed her over his desk, sliding her test over to her with one finger like it disgusted him. She remembered his chilly voice telling her how no child who could afford the best tutors and people who could do their work for them should dare to get below a perfect score. He'd called it a disgrace. Noctis remembered it vividly, and she remembered her father's slow sighing every time he told her, gently, that he knew she could do her best. He said he was proud of her, but he said it less now, and he always looked at her with such tired eyes. Noctis didn't want him to be stressed because of her, she didn't want him hearing anything bad about her, not from her teachers or from Ignis. She needed to be the princess, not a common student. She couldn't be anything less than perfect or she'd face the consequences.

If only she could get her damn head on straight.

Outside, Noctis tilted her head up to the sky, where clouds were gathering. They were dark, cold, even when no rain was forecast. When she lowered her head again, looking out towards a sturdy oak tree, her and Prompto's tree, she saw her friend already sitting beneath it. Prompto taken her blazer off (she'd just come from gym, Noctis supposed she hadn't thought to put it back on yet) and she was sprawled out in the grass, her skin flushed from running and her chest heaving. She always jogged to get to their spot, she'd once told Noctis it was because she wanted to soak up all of her free period. Noctis suspected it was so they could spend more time together, though. Prompto was sappy like that, and now that they were almost eighteen, what with Prompto having gotten that part-time job and Noctis' duties falling heavier by the month, it seemed like their time for each other continued to shrink.

Noctis' heart squeezed at the realization, but she shook her head, though the feeling was stubborn. Prom was in training to become part of the Crownsguard, she'd always be by Noctis' side. It wasn't like Noctis had to worry about letting Prompto go. But…she wasn't like Ignis or Gladio, whose duties entailed sticking by Noctis almost daily. Prompto would have to have a job, college, her own place… She wanted Noctis to live with her, too, and Noctis always went along with happy planning and ideas of what their life would be like or what their apartment might look like. But, she knew there'd be a day she'd have to stay in the citadel. She'd have to rule. She was a princess who just wanted to sit in her living room with her best friend and play stupid games or watch crappy dramas, the ones Prompto liked and made whole elaborate plot explanations for. Noctis just wanted Prompto, but she had…

A kingdom. She had a kingdom.

Without a word, Noctis walked right up to Prompto and stared down at her for a moment. The calm before the storm, when she plopped down and sprawled over Prompto's stomach. The blonde grunted as the air got knocked out of her, flopping her arm over Noct's forehead. "You're gonna kill me before Cor's training ever gets to!" Prompto whined, and Noctis smirked at the dramatics, though she knew them to be true. "And he seems pretty determined."

"You'd be dead already if he wanted it," Noctis drawled, shutting her eyes as she got comfortable, her head resting on Prompto's side. "He sees real potential, or he'd have weeded you out. Gladio got his ass handed to him plenty of times, y'know."

"Gladio is, like, a mountain. He can take it," Prompto said flatly, her fingers starting to stroke Noct's hair. Already, she felt the dark strands coming loose from their braid. Noctis knew that well enough, she was the one who'd been getting tossed and trained since she could hold a wooden sword. She was the one crushed up in his hugs, caged in by hard muscle and sweat. "Gosh, your hair is so soft," Prompto said absently, and Noctis' thoughts strayed from the topic of Cor, all that training, and Gladio entirely.

She hummed pleasantly, much like a cat's happy purr. Prompto's fingers, slim, were always gentle as they carded through Noctis' hair. It never failed to lure Noctis to relax, almost falling asleep. Not that she needed any help with that. It amazed her how Prompto, brutal in the training courts, still kept her touch soft and careful. Against her better judgment, Noctis let her eyes flutter shut, listening to Prompto's slow and steady breathing. It was quiet for a few minutes, almost enough for Noctis to slip under. "Do you train with Gladio today?"

Noctis blinked her eyes open at the question. Prompto never really asked things like that. Noctis remembered telling the novice gunner that Gladio had gone on a trip, but only in passing. She hadn't thought Prom would remember. Of course, Gladio was her friend, too, so Prompto had every right to wonder about him. "Yeah, he's just getting back."

"You must be excited to see him," Prompto said then. Noctis blinked again, as if it would help her see the answer to a question she didn't even have. Tilting her head to look at Prompto, Noctis found a small little smile. It was out of place. Noctis didn't know what brought that observation, but when she gave thought to it, it felt true, even though a smile on Prom's face was as natural as the stars.

"Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he's been gone for days, I missed him," Noctis smiled, too, her lips stretching over the uncomfortable expression. Prompto's fingers had stopped stroking through her hair, and she missed it. Prompto's eyes widened suddenly, and she sat up out of nowhere. Noctis didn't move at first, so she dropped down to where her head rested in Prompto's lap and she was staring up at the other girl, eyes wide and lips parted in surprise.

"Of course! Totally," Prompto huffed out a short laugh. "He's lucky, got a girlfriend to fall over him when he gets back!" Prompto winked down at Noctis, her lopsided smile back where it should be. Noctis swallowed, licked her lips, and remembered how to sit up. When she did, she wondered if it was instinct, because she could see Ignis' car pulling up to the curb before he'd ever messaged her. As she gathered her stuff (and rushed to comb her fingers through her hair, getting it back in order) Noctis found she couldn't look at Prompto again. She murmured a goodbye, to which Prompto saluted back, from what Noctis saw in her peripheral. "Tell the big guy I say welcome back!" Prompto called.

Noctis smiled tightly. "Will do!" She climbed into her ride, feeling out of breath in spite of it being a short walk. When she'd been a blank slate ready for a nap mere minutes ago, now her mind was abuzz, and she was looking forward to sorting through them before arriving at the citadel. Too bad Ignis was no longer in the mood to leave Noct be, it would seem. He'd launched into a briefing of the meeting before she'd even buckled up, and though he always spoke concisely and took care not to talk too fast, Noctis was only halfway in the car as it was. The other half was at the citadel, in the training room, feeling Gladio's eyes on her. He watched her because of her position, her hold on her weapon; he had to watch to train her. But his gaze felt sticky. His hands when they fixed her stance, when they flipped her or knocked her down only to heft her up again, so big and strong on her… So heavy.

"Noctis, do pay attention. I know you'll take extra time at the citadel today since Gladio has just returned, so I ran through the meeting with you now, but it's pointless if you won't retain it." Ignis' sharp tone made Noctis sink in her seat.

"Extra time?" she asked, only to want to swallow those words right after. "Oh, really? Thanks, Specs. Knew you'd come through," she smiled, hoping to play it off as surprise that Ignis was going to let her spend the extra time with Gladio. She was supposed to be a doting girlfriend, tripping over herself to fall into her boyfriend's arms after he'd been gone. Like the girls on television or in books, who were always on the phone with their boyfriend, who complained about spending a single day away. Noctis was supposed to be all of that and more. She was royalty, she had high standards to live up to! She shouldn't be reminding herself of how to be a good partner. And she  _had_  missed Gladio. She'd missed his banter, the way his laugh filled a room, things like that.

The citadel loomed into view, and Noctis felt a surge of nervous energy that had no right being there. Sure, she'd gone through a period where it felt weird being around Gladio…and Ignis, actually. They were men, older men, and she'd been a kid, still. She felt too young, too small, and very wonky. To be fair, who didn't, when they were going through puberty? Now that she was grown—well, nearly—people had different expectations, they looked at her different.  _Gladio_  looked at her different. She'd known it, she wasn't blind, though it'd been her to press him. The whole time, her. No one would've believed it, knowing Noctis' awkward, passive nature, but she'd winged it all the way to landing. Gladio was a young guy, any pretty girl asking him to take them out would've probably gotten a good answer.

Noctis was special, though, and she sometimes worried she'd basically dragged Gladio into a relationship, but he never acted as such. It was awkward at first, they stumbled around each other, but Gladio soon found his footing. Noctis…kind of hadn't. But it was okay, right? Gladio had dated before, she hadn't, it was to be expected. Noctis just copied what she saw other girls do, tried to mimic Gladio when he kissed her or pulled her close. His hand engulfed her arm, powerful enough to throw her. Not that he would, no, never. He was always slow around Noctis when it came to affection, mindful of his strength in ways most weren't, but she couldn't help that when he touched her, something in her flinched.

She'd had so much confidence when she first fed into Gladio's silent glances. He thought she looked good, she could use that, right? She needed to. He was her Shield, he couldn't do her wrong, she didn't need to go through ten steps to be with him like she would if she dated outside her group of insiders. It just…made so much sense to her. She trusted Gladio, he was hers in a way no one else really could be, and she was his in a way anyone else  _really_  couldn't be. A princess was a pedestal on its own, girlfriend was another. The press ate it up like emaciated hyenas; the princess and her guard, a true story of protection and devotion.

Well…it was a good thing, if not for the fact that the paparazzi got it first, and sent it right to Regis and Clarus. It was Noctis' fault, she was so impulsive when she was vying for Gladio's attention, desperate to grasp it, that she had kissed him in a place that wasn't…ideal. Gladio had let her. Pictures were taken. It was hardly even a kiss, Noctis had pushed her mouth against Gladio's and dubbed it as such. She'd thought it was the right thing to do, everyone else her age had or was starting to date, and she knew arranged dating was always a possibility within royal bloodlines. Prestigious families linking together and whatnot. The Caelum and Amicitia clans were already permanently chained, but what if Noctis took it a step more? Beat her father at the game before he decided to lock his only child into a political marriage, first? The press was writing articles left and right, praising the sweet couple, adoring every bit of affection, spouting ideas for future baby names. Gladio and Noctis had definitely not, they didn't talk about a future at all. It seemed so far away, after all.

Regis was…dubious. Clarus was, well, Noctis wasn't too sure. She hadn't been there for Clarus' discussion with Gladio, but she'd heard it was disappointed, full of advice, and a touch of threatening. Regis had run through similar things; disappointment in her impulsion, warnings of her reputation and what she was doing, and confusion, somewhat. Gladio was, essentially, a servant, but he was so much more, to her. Gladio was strong, brave, he was a masculine aspiration. He dwarfed her, he was what every woman wanted, all tall, dark, and handsome. Girls at school envied her, Noctis had overheard them. Older women ogled Gladio every time they were out, eying Noctis' hand held in his with contempt. They all wanted him, but he was Noctis', and she had to remind herself to touch him, to show off her claim. Hold his hand, kiss his cheek hello and goodbye. She had to learn not to blink in confusion or move away when he put his arm around her, or picked her up.

They were past that, they were together. Gladio deserved to be lucky enough to have a girlfriend doting on him, just like Prompto said. Noctis wished Prompto was training with her today, there was never an awkward or dull moment with her around. There was just no room for it when Prompto filled up a whole room.

Ignis stopped the car at the curb. "I'm afraid I have another duty to attend to, Highness, but I wish you a good training session. Do tell Gladio I'm glad he made a safe trip home."

Noctis climbed out of the car, her lungs filling with a shaky breath. Now she had no buffer, sometimes Ignis would walk her up and chat with Gladio for a few minutes while she dressed. Today, she was on her own. Which was perfectly well, she needn't feel awkward around her own lover. "Sure thing, Specs. Pick up cinnamon rolls on your way back, could you?"

Noctis shut the door before she got to hear the lecture about a workout being useless if you only ate a ton of sugar right after. Shame.

As she headed up the steps, Noctis felt herself starting to sweat. It was still cloudy, so it was far from hot. Maybe she really should've done those exercises. She skirted past anyone lurking around the corridors, slipping into her changing room to dress in her training outfit. She tugged on the tank, uncomfortable with how it clung to her. She felt too bare, though her shorts covered her thighs fine. Her body was for Gladio's eyes, anyway. If she was sharing it with anyone, it was him. He was her boyfriend.

That made sense, so why did it make her feel so queasy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been reading gender-swapped stuff and seeing art lately and I’ve always wanted to dabble more with it, just never got on the train. But I proposed the desire to write an idea for it to my best friend who, of course, is an enabler. I also wanted to write Noctis as having a recent experience with a male partner and not finding it right, inspired by Hayley’s Kiyoko’s song “Curious”, and when I checked with said best friend to see if the idea would fly, he went with it AND suggested the man be either Ignis or Gladio. 
> 
> I chose Gladio for a variety of reasons pertaining to his general overt masculinity and nature, and how I could see Noctis trying to go for her “Shield” who’s meant to protect her because, I mean, what an easy option. She’ll totally prove herself a “nice, traditional” princess for everyone. Also, there was no way I was about to hurt Ignis in any capacity ever. He’s probably gay, too. Probably sleeps with Nyx on the side when he isn’t letting Noctis sleep on his shoulder while she avoids her…well, everything.
> 
> Edit at 2:31am: I have to get up for work at 8 lmao, so I decided this was gonna be a chapter story. It fits better that way anyway, a nice coming-to-terms story. It’s gonna be short, because I never intended for this to happen that way, but then again I say that about every fucking writing project I embark on so cheers to that!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't always write chapters laden with flashback scenes, but when I do…

Noctis wasted time in the locker room. She knew, she watched the minutes tick by on her phone until she finally had to shove it in her locker and drag her courage out of it. Practice was one thing, practice when Gladio had to come get you after you made him wait? Whole 'nother ballgame, and Noctis was feeling too uncoordinated today to play. So, she tossed her hair into a sloppy bun, tugged her tank-top up a bit, and pretended she was marching into a critical business meeting. It helped her paint her expression and square her shoulders, so she looked like less of a walking anxiety disorder.

In the training room, Gladio looked like he'd already finished a set of push-ups. Probably had to put that energy somewhere before he went shouting through doors about how Noctis couldn't skip practice. He'd done it before, it was once a prized hobby of his, actually, back when skipping training was a hobby of Noctis'. Now, though, he'd begun to exercise more patience with her. Noctis made herself known with a clearing of her throat. When he looked up, having pushed onto his knees after finishing his set, a smile warmed his face. It was such a fond expression that it made Noctis' chest hurt. She wasn't sure if that was how it should feel.

"Hey, baby," Gladio said when she was near, his voice rumbling in its softness as Noctis stood above him. Their heights were so unfair that he could hook his arms around her waist and hug her just like this, his mouth pressing a kiss against her navel through the thin fabric of her shirt. A shudder radiated up Noctis' flesh from the contact, and she brought her hands up to comb through Gladio's thick mane of hair. "Miss me?"

Noctis' throat went dry—a rather inopportune time, she had to say. She had, obviously, missed him. So, why was saying it such a challenge? She thought back to when they were younger, and found that made it easier to answer. "Didn't miss getting run into the ground," she told him wryly, a smile winding its way onto her mouth. Was this why things felt so out of shape to her? Was Gladio so familiar that the change to their relationship was awkward? Noctis shook her head, it wasn't like too much was changing. It was like upgrading, right? She'd adjust.

Gladio smirked up at her, chin resting against her abdomen. Plenty of times in the past, that smirk had made her smirk back, rising to the challenge. A spar, witty banter, even sharing in on a joke. Now, it felt different. Why was it so fucking different? "Get your shit together and you wouldn't get your scrawny ass handed to you," he teased, pulling Noctis to the side and toppling her onto the matt. Squawking in indignance, Noctis kicked her legs out in hopes of catching Gladio somewhere, but he was already well out of her vindictive reach. "Give me fifty, princess. You've got a lotta catching up to do."

How Gladio knew Noctis had slacked on her practice was…well, not all that surprising. Still, she muttered bitterly into the matt as she lowered and raised herself, growing more threatening as the burn in her arms increased. "You need lessons on how to treat a lady."

Noctis heard Gladio scoff without having to look up. She couldn't see where he was, but that didn't mean she couldn't feel it. His eyes burned into her back, and suddenly her shorts felt much smaller than before. She felt too open, her body exposed too easily. Noctis couldn't stand the thought of being so easy to read.

* * *

_It's hot, a July afternoon that affords them the freedom to do what they want, but lacks the cool weather to make them want to do anything. The air is sticky outside, the sun beating down on the hapless land. The land won't burn, but Noctis is definitely going to. She already feels the sting in her skin, flushed from the warmth. "Why did I agree to this, again?" she asks, once again flipping her hair over her other shoulder to keep it from sticking to her._

_Prompto beams, practically giddy as she raises her camera above her head like a beacon. "This right here! The photos are gonna be so worth it, Noct! The sun hits the lake just right in the summer, and when the rainbow fish come to the surface to eat, the light glints off their scales perfectly. It's a once in a lifetime shot!" Prompto is a vibrating ball of shouting excitement, hopping from foot to foot as she looks out over the lake. It's still, now, the fish done feeding and having swum back out._

" _Only once, huh? You took fifteen shots at least," Noctis grins. She yells out a disgruntled "Hey!" when Prompto kicks her foot out, splashing Noctis with a spray of water. "You're lucky I'm dressed, or I'd come out there and get you for that!"_

_It's an empty threat, but the toothy smile tells Noctis she's just signed up for something big. Prompto jogs to their bags to set her precious camera down, Noctis maintains a safe distance all the while. She watches suspiciously until Prompto starts to peel her shirt off, and promptly Noctis' eyes almost pop out of her skull. "Prom, what are you doing?" she hisses, growing worried about someone sneaking a photograph of the blonde. Prompto shrugs, dropping her shirt down. Her sports bra is a cheerful blue, and she's unbuttoning her shorts before Noctis can hope to stop her._

" _What? I told ya to wear at least swimsuit bottoms! It's, like, 900 degrees, Noct. Didja really think I wasn't gonna throw myself in this lake?" Prompto giggles as she kicks her shorts off, carefree as ever as she bounds into the blue tides. Noctis watches her go, jaw dropped. She's never been so careless before meeting Prompto; and it isn't the blonde being a bad influence, it's that she just doesn't understand the paranoia Noctis has to exhibit. No one thinks it's normal to worry about randos taking sudden photos of you._

" _C'mon, Noct! It's great! You're gonna be a tomato, soon!" Prompto calls from where she's calf-deep in the water. Noctis digs her foot into the dirt, her eyes chasing Prompto as the blonde kicks her legs through the water. Prompto has freckles everywhere, Noctis realizes. All up her torso and back, her thighs, they spot her flesh like stars. Prompto looks so happy dancing in the water, her legs slim and strong from her mornings spent running. Stretch-marks color her skin in some places, mainly around her waist and arms, and Noctis finds herself smiling fondly. Prompto doesn't bring up the fact that they really had met before, Noctis remembers a friendly face, chubbier and a bit less smiley. Prompto has always been cute, but seeing her happy with herself makes Noctis so, so proud. The marks are like trophies stating where Prompto once was, and how far she's come._

_Noctis flushes when she realizes she's staring at her half-naked best friend, almost ogling her. The sunshine feels like shade in comparison as Noct ducks her head, fingers dancing at the edge of her shirt. She's never…it's considered improper. Only her nannies have seen her this way, really. Even at school, Noctis changed in private. But, this is Prom, right? Prompto won't care. It's just two friends trying to out-splash each other! So, Noctis grips her top and pulls it over her head. She feels the breeze against her skin, and wonders about the tan lines this is gonna leave._

_Her jeans go next, leaving her with her boy-shorts. Meekly approaching the water, her arms covering her bra, Noctis tries not to dwell on the flush spreading from her face to what felt like everywhere else. She doesn't feel uncomfortable, not really, but…what does Prompto think of her? Is she too scrawny, too pale? Does Prompto find her pretty? Noctis definitely finds Prompto that way, the girl is all long legs and smiles, her freckled skin kissed dark by the sun. Her blonde hair bounces around her shoulders, the longest she ever lets it get. Noctis really hopes Prompto thinks she looks good._

_She isn't sure why she wants it so much._

* * *

It wasn't Gladio, it was her. Noctis was the one being weird about this. Her Shield had never given her a reason to feel uncomfortable. Well, aside from a strenuous spar. He'd always been respectful, treated her right, exactly how it was supposed to be, and Noctis was supposed to treat him the same. She was supposed to dote, and crave his hands on her, to want the attention like this. Noctis began to push herself faster, a sheen of sweat covering her skin as the ache in her arms increased. She was the one being a fucking baby about a situation she'd wanted in the first place. Gladio was perfect for her, he was strong, protective, he was the closest man in her life aside from Ignis, but Noctis didn't feel that way about her advisor. He was dear to her, he was family. Gladio was…beautiful—he was everything she should want…did want,  _did_.

For the rest of the training session, Noctis' arms burned.

"C'mon, princess. You didn't forget that much while I was gone, did you?" Gladio's taunt pulled Noctis' attention forward, along with her practice sword as it collided against Gladio's own weapon. Her chest heaved for breath, hair stuck to her forehead with the sweat of a long practice. Gladio was fairing much better, but she could see the flush on his face, she got to him. She always did. She had to, how else was she going to keep him interested?

Sword against sword, a hand on his wrist, and Noctis' body twisted in an impressive display of flexibility to disarm her partner. It wasn't a huge win on her part, considering she went down right with him. Gladio's back hit the floor and Noctis hit his chest, their breath mingling in the air as it got knocked out of them. Panting, Noctis' palm splayed on Gladio's chest, where it was damp with sweat, and muscles twitched beneath her.

Placing her hand on the mat beside them instead, Noctis began to push herself up and off, but Gladio's hand on her hip brought her to a pause. Looking at him from beneath her lashes, Noctis watched the pride in his eyes. She'd hungered for that as a kid, and it still felt like one of the biggest rewards. The fondness in them, though, she didn't feel like it was meant for her. Which was a ridiculous idea, she wasn't one to doubt Gladio, who wore his heart on his sleeve. Gladio was a beacon of pride and self-aware strength. Noctis felt like a shadow beside him, hiding in darkness so no one would see her. Every time light shone upon her, Noctis felt like she looked different each time. Someone like Gladio, why would he ever have a reason to hide anything?

Noctis swallowed at the stillness between them. She hadn't moved when Gladio had, and though he hadn't removed his hand, he hadn't taken any other initiative. Noctis had to, she couldn't expect Gladio to do everything in their relationship, even though that was what she relied on. Gladio led the way, he guided and she followed. It was so much easier that way, wasn't it? So much less room to screw up.

Leaning up, Noctis lowered her lips to Gladio's. The kiss was…a kiss. It was always just a kiss. Every time Noctis went to press her lips against her boyfriend's, she expected to feel the "click" she was waiting on. The explosion, the fireworks, the butterflies. She did feel something flipping around in her gut, but it was more like snakes, not cheerful butterflies. Books and television had done her terribly wrong in lying to her this way, kissing didn't feel special at all. She didn't feel much different kissing Gladio then she did when dignitaries kissed her on the cheek at political parties. His chest was broad against hers, hard and uncomfortable when she tried lowering herself to close the distance.

It was Gladio who broke the kiss, though it was Noctis who wanted to. His beard, still in its early stages, scratched against her skin when he kissed at her jawline. As if following instructions, Noctis cocked her head to offer Gladio her neck. She wondered what the headlines would be if someone caught them like this; would they praise her, finally, for being a normal teenage girl? Or would they spite her? Call her easy? Where the fuck was the line?

"Noct," Gladio sighed against her ear, starling her. Her nails dug into his shirt as if to keep him close, in her hands. She'd been spacing out—again. She always seemed to. Gladio's hand moved off her hip and towards her back, between her shoulder blades. Noctis couldn't help but notice it felt more like a friendly touch.

"Why'd you stop?" she asked, setting her lips in a pout and trying to pitch her voice into that whiny tone that always got Gladio to do what she wanted. She trailed her nails down his chest as she spoke, working on luring him back into…whatever they were doing. Making out? Was Gladio going to ask her for more?

Oh , god, what if he—

"Because you want to." Gladio's flat, blunt voice made Noctis flinch. Bolting upright—and perhaps putting too much strength in her hands when she used Gladio's chest to catapult herself up—Noctis stared down at the man with offense. He stared right back at her, the accusation in his eyes sharper than any sword he could swing at her. Dread dropped into Noctis' stomach, through a trapdoor Gladio had unlocked using the key Noctis had kept kicking away.

"Gladio, what are you—"

"Cut the shit," Gladio cut her off, something she didn't appreciate all too much, nor did she care for him sitting up and (carefully) pushing her off him. Noctis felt the need to push herself closer, to prove to him how much she needed him. She also felt the want to sit right where she was, her legs and arms both crossed as she stared him down. Was he breaking up with her? Could she really not do this right? God, what would she do, Gladio shielded her from so much, he shielded so much from the press…

That shouldn't be her first thoughts.

"You always clam up when I touch you. If you don't want me to, you have to say something, Noct." Gladio's voice was hard, but he wasn't shouting at her. It made her mad, if she were honest. If he yelled at her, they could fight. She could blame it on temper, on tensions.

"I do not," she argued, her eyes cast down. "I'm not used to this like you are. If you want someone who knows what they're doing, go hunt someone else!" Noctis hated the anger in her voice. She was recriminating Gladio for something that wasn't even his fault, no wonder he was sick of her.

Rolling his eyes to the ceiling, Gladio held his hands forward. It was the universal sign.  _Calm down, I'm not the enemy, just relax._  "You freeze up and space out, like you'd rather be anywhere else. Look, we agreed to try this," Gladio paused, running his hand through his hair. Noctis wished he'd hurry, because she wasn't breathing. "You have to tell me what you want. I can't read your fuckin' mind, Noct. When you frown and pull away from me, what the hell am I supposed to think? Did you even know what you were doing, or are you just trying to play a game?"

That stung. A lot. The idea of her using Gladio like that was a punch in the gut, and it must've shown on her face if Gladio's wince was anything to go by. He reached out for her, but before he could get his heavy hands on her, Noctis had stood—albeit ungracefully, in her haste—and backed away. He hadn't said it, but she could see their relationship crumbling right in front of her. Could she even call it that? Had she done anything right at all? For the love of Shiva, why couldn't she suck up her insecurities long enough to let him touch her? That was what every advice column rambled on about, a hesitance for intimacy was almost always because of inner insecurity, anxiety… It always made her so nauseous whenever they got close to breaking that first boundary. It had been like a wall between her body and Gladio's. And he'd seen it, how could he not have?

Tears were welling in Noctis' eyes, but the worst part was that she wasn't sure they were for the right reasons. Her chest throbbed, heart racing, and her head began to ache. She realized she was clenching her teeth. Her back turned to Gladio, shutting him out and refusing to allow him to see the breakdown incoming. "You don't know what you're talking about," she muttered. It was so much easier to place the blame on him and storm out of the room than it was to sit and listen to him spit the truth in her face.

Those tears, burning and drowning, were spilling down Noctis' cheeks before she even barricaded herself in her locker room. They felt like they were wrenching something deep inside her, pouring it out of her in waves. It tumbled and roiled within her until she stumbled, losing her footing and hitting the ground on her knees. The pain rocketed through her legs, but she reached out to it, trying to dig her fingers in to hold on. Physical pain hurt so much less than emotional, it hurt so good in comparison. She wretched, sobbing so hard it was choking her, now. Why the breakdown had come bearing down on her now was past her ability to understand, but here it was, and she couldn't seem to remember how to breathe. Breathing was the first thing a person learned, yet when it came down to it, it seemed the easiest thing to forget.

In her turmoil, her heart aching with panic, Noctis could only think of one person. She should have called Ignis, the logical approach, or she should go back to Gladio and talk like a normal adult. Or, she could just go home and pretend nothing happened and everything was okay. Instead, Noctis grappled to her feet and ran out of the locker room, forgetting to even change. If anyone saw the Crown Princess running from the citadel, they didn't call out to stop her. They wouldn't have caught her, either. If Gladio or Cor saw her running, they'd lament why she couldn't put that much effort in training.

Noctis' breath spilled out of her in frantic gasps, her feet pounding against the invisible line-markers to her destination. The modest little house came into view, and a wet smile relieved the distress on Noctis' face for a moment. The paved way to the door carried Noctis up, until she was rapping against the wood and praying Prompto was home and not out on a run or some photography excursion. If she were, Noctis only had the energy to collapse against her door, the journey home too daunting.

The sound of the lock clicking almost made Noctis slump with gratitude. She wished she'd thought about where she was going to go once the door was gone, though, because once her center of support moved, the only place Noctis could go was forward.

Prompto gasped at the mess of black hair and pale limbs as Noctis stumbled forward and threw her arms around the blonde. Now, Prompto prided herself on multitasking, she was the queen of gaming while juggling a can of soda and slice of pizza. But, trying to hold her best friend up while also shutting the door and trying not to fall was proving to be a higher level than Prompto was at.

"Noct, Noctis—babe, we have to walk together," Prompto wheezed, crushed under Noctis' suffocating hug. The raven didn't seem to hear, leaving Prompto to huff out a determined sound. You know what? She was gonna be a guard of Noct's. She could get the princess to the couch, at least. What would she do if, in the future, she had to carry Noctis out of a battlefield, all bloody and heroine-like? Not that that was ever gonna be a likely scenario, but hey, might as well practice now!

Half carrying and half dragging them to the living room, Prompto fell onto the couch with a grunt of exertion, her floppy princess tumbling on top of her. Noctis gasped at the shift in gravity, finally acting like she knew what planet she was on. Prompto propped her head on the armrest of the couch when Noctis recoiled, looking down at Prompto like she was only now realizing where she even was. Light eyebrows furrowed in concern—was that… "Noct, are you crying?" Prompto asked, horrified by the glistening on Noctis' cheeks. Rushing to wipe the tears away, Prompto cupped Noctis' face, gently swiping her thumbs under those baby blues. "What happened? Did you have a bad training session?"

Noctis' laugh sounded terrible. It was a choked out, dry sound, and she hiccupped after. "Don't worry about it," Noctis mumbled, her voice damp and hoarse.

Prompto squished Noctis' cheeks. "You burst crying into my house and you tell me not to worry!" Prompto exclaimed, incredulous at the absolute obliviousness. Noctis pulled her head back, the ghost of a smile on her lips. Almost, so close, but it crumpled and fresh tears began to roll down her face once more. Prompto's heart wrenched in her chest, twisting into a little corkscrew. "Hey, hey, c'mon. Exams are almost over, and I'm sure your grades aren't worth crying over!"

She was trying so hard to lighten the mood, Noctis wanted to laugh just to make Prompto feel better. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. Lying practically on top of the poor gunner, probably ruining her shirt with all these stupid tears, and Noctis could hardly even tell her why. It took several minutes for Noctis to scrounge up the courage. "I messed up, Prom," Noctis finally managed to choke out, her throat threatening to close up around the words.

Confused, Prompto narrowed her eyes, searching for more clues. "What? Whatt'aya mean? Is it Gladio? What'd he do?"

Noctis closed her eyes. It should have stemmed her tears, at least, that made sense to her, but they continued squeezing past. "I'm just so fucked up. I can't be in a relationship," Noctis expelled the words with an exhausted, but vicious bite, her teeth grit around them. Prompto didn't say anything right away, her hands still on Noctis' face until the raven lowered her head down to rest. It was too much work holding herself up, and Noctis always fit so perfectly against Prompto, tangling together during sleepovers, movies, or gaming sessions on a too-cold-night. Prompto welcomed her, soft and warm, and she so often smelled of that familiar cinnamon. Like a warm bakery's breeze that wrapped around Noctis and cocooned her in safety and nostalgia. Noctis allowed it to blanket her now, inhaling deep where her damp cheek rested against Prompto's chest, head tucked beneath the blonde's chin. It was here that Noctis found her breath again.

But her heart, how it continued to race.

Noctis screwed her eyes shut tight, trembles rocking her body. Astrals, what was wrong with her?

What was Noctis going to do, rely on her best friend forever? The paparazzi already loved writing spiteful articles about the two—sometimes cute ones, but mostly they were attacks.

* * *

" _I can't believe they would even say something like that." Prompto's sullen voice hurts more than the tabloid does, in Noctis' opinion, and the article is pretty brutal. Noctis looks away from the screen as she sits down, smoothing her palm up and down Prompto's back._

" _Uh, they can get pretty creative," Noctis tries, but Prompto only hangs her head. Guilt swells inside Noctis, this is her fault, after all. If not for her, Prompto wouldn't be having creepy articles written about her, and now they were slowly becoming a price of being Noctis' friend._

" _Noct, this is terrible! How can they say this about you? Can't your father, just, smite them?!" Prompto waves her hands in front of the laptop screen before she shuts it with a tad too much force. Noctis flinches away from the poor device._

" _I think that'd be breaking freedom of the press. Besides, it's not true, Prom, I know that. Everyone important knows that!" Noctis nudges her friend's shoulder, trying to get her mind off it. "Anyone who thinks you're just around us for the money is a moron. I mean, I'd get it if you only hung around for Iggy's cooking, but—" Noctis laughs as Prompto pushes her, leaning all her weight against the princess. Prompto drops her chin to Noctis' shoulder, still staring at the laptop as if she were rereading the article. She'd been the one to find it, she'd come almost busting down Noctis' door in the wee hours of the morning (Noct almost hadn't heard the knocking or frantic phone calls) to show the heinous online story. This one is among the first Prompto's gotten sucked into._

_If Noctis could protect her from it, it'd be done in a heartbeat. But, she can't, just like she can't save herself from them. The author of this particular article had, obviously, missed her coffee and meditation session. She'd gone on a tangent about Noctis' social life, detailing scathing opinions about Noctis never going out, only being seen with her guards and one "lucky little civilian girl, who's likely only fishing for cash and fame" at any given time. It's true, Noctis has always been a bit of a loner, but why did that suddenly make her an antisocial tyrant heading down the path to becoming a dictator? Why can't she just be quiet, introverted, the things they used to call her when she was a little younger?_

_And why did this hag have to drag Prompto into it? Prompto is the least greedy person in the whole of Insomnia. She tends to refuse handouts, aside from the food, but even that had taken her a few months to accept. Prompto is the one always offering and sharing! The gall of anyone trying to claim she's using Noctis or trying to gain from the friendship is…it's…reprehensible. There, that's a good word Ignis would use._

" _Don't listen to it, Prom. It's always nothing but exaggerated lies for views," Noctis murmurs, kissing Prompto's temple. "You're the greatest person anyone could ever have for a friend. This woman's probably just jealous."_

_Prompto manages a weak giggle at that, a giant victory in Noctis' book. "Besides," Noctis continues, "if you want, I can totally send Gladio to go and at least ransack this jerk's house."_

_Prompto hums like she's seriously considering it, but eventually she shakes her head, and stretches her arms out like a bendy-toy to hug Noctis. "Nah, I think I'd rather cuddle. These plebes are just upset they don't have the best cuddle-buddy in Lucis! Consider it an apology for waking you up so early."_

_The articles will continue, but Noctis does her best to steal tips from her own Shield in order to become one for Prompto against the vitriol or prying stories._

* * *

Prompto was going to move on, fall in love, and Noctis was gonna be stuck. Well, of course her father would marry her off eventually, otherwise Noctis would remain an heirless matron. Prompto got tons of looks at school, at the arcade. She tended to ignore them unless someone tried talking to her, and then she was too sweet to shut anyone down. She'd always bring Noctis along on those little dates though, making it more like an outing of friends. Seeing the frustrated expressions on shut-down peoples' faces was her favorite.

None of them were good enough for Prompto.

"Noct?" Prompto's soft voice filled the room, her breath fanning against Noctis' hair. Too comfortable to move, Noctis only hummed in response. Her arms rested on either side of Prompto, and she felt Prompto lower hers over top, her hands resting on Noctis' back. The weight was a gentle reassurance, pressing Noctis closer to Prompto's inviting hug. She could still remember the first time Prompto had hugged her. Noctis was too shy for things like that at first; after all, Prompto was her first real friend that she'd made on her own.

Gladio, Ignis, Luna, people like that were all sort of set pieces in the game. They were all tied to Noctis through either title or duty. Prompto was different, she'd chosen Noctis. So, after about a month of being friends, she had wrapped Noctis up tight in a hug to greet her instead of simply saying "Hey, what's up?" like usual. It had left Noctis flushed red and wide-eyed, caught so off guard by the ardent display of affection. She did learn it was normal between friends, and after the first few times, when her heart wasn't deafening her sense of reason, Noctis began to initiate in return. That first hug was still so vivid in Noctis' memory. She was always so choosy with who could touch her, considering she often didn't have a choice when it came to her duties as a princess. With all the diplomats who wanted to kiss her cheek or take her hand, Noctis liked being picky when she had the choice. Prompto had free reign—no, more than that. Every time she touched Noctis, Noctis never wanted her to stop.

Noctis blinked when she realized Prompto was talking.

"Did…did you and Gladio break up?" The question came carefully, like treading on ice and each letter was another tiny crack. Noctis swallowed, realizing it'd been dumb of her to think she could escape without this question. Really, what else was Prompto supposed to think after Noctis had clearly come running away from the citadel, spilling her heart out of her eyes? Who wouldn't see the obvious problems in paradise?

"Gods, Prom," Noctis winced, unwilling to even open her eyes. The tears in them would just blind her, anyway. "I couldn't do it right. I'm not…I can't do the stuff everyone else is doing. I'm a clumsy wreck who can't even hold onto her relationship which,  _ah-ha,_ I started in the first place!" Noctis curled in on herself, and she knew she was wrinkling Prompto's shirt, but the comfort of cloth was too frivolous to care about right now. At least Noctis wasn't smearing eyeliner everywhere—no makeup for her, not unless it was for formal occasions. Prompto liked to play with it, though. She liked to doll Noctis up.

* * *

" _Why do I have to be the guinea pig?" Noctis mutters, struggling not to move her face too much, lest her makeup come out "cakey" as Prompto keeps warning. The little brush she's using to apply the foundation to Noctis' skin does feel nice, though, Prompto's gentle fingers tilting and adjusting her face where she wants it._

_Prompto pulls the brush back, her eyes bouncing across Noctis' face to make sure everything looked even. "You're the best model," she says, concentrated. Noctis has only seen her this focused when she was taking the perfect picture. Well, that and when there was a surprise math test. "Your natural state is sitting still with your eyes shut, so I know you won't get all fidgety!"_

" _Gee, thanks." Noctis blinks her eyes open so she can glower at Prompto, who stands above her with a gleeful smile. "You know, Ignis has a permanent stoic expression, I bet that'd be good for makeup."_

_Prompto reaches to the side to pick up an eyeliner pencil, and Noctis tries not to flinch. She doesn't trust the little stabby eye weapon, but Prompto loves it. She's perfected the cat eye, something Noctis never fails to gawk at when she watches Prompto do her makeup. The blonde had been playing with it since Noctis has known her, but she's gotten good at it, now. Not that she wears it a lot, usually just special occasions or when she wanted to have a little fun. Noctis still remembers the time Prompto wanted to dry a drag look. That had been…an interesting trip into town._

" _I don't think I'll be gettin' Iggy into this chair anytime soon, but if you wanna put in a good word for me, please do. Look up!" Prompto grins, leaning in close to Noctis' face. The princess does as instructed, finding a spot on the ceiling to study. Against her cheek, Prompto's breath fans across her skin, warming it. It's all Noctis can do to focus on the spot above her head. She feels her heart thumping in her chest, her skin starting to clam up the same way she gets when she has to mingle at an important party._

_Prompto cups the side of Noctis' face for a moment, and when she brushes her thumb across Noctis' cheek, it makes the raven's breath catch in her chest. Both of them freeze immediately, the moment broken. Yanking the pencil back, Prompto chuckles nervously. "S–sorry! It's just…your skin is so soft! I'm jealous!" she says, her eyes cutting to the side while Noctis blinks up at her, her blue eyes vivid with the dark makeup. "Man, I…I don't know why you don't like wearing this stuff, Noct. It makes you look, just…wow." Prompto smiles, her lips tinted a rosy color. Noctis can't help wondering if Prompto will put that on her lips, too. She isn't sure she should be thinking about it, but she wants to look her best around Prompto. The blonde widens her eyes suddenly, as if a realization has dawned on her, and she starts to wave her hands before her. "Not that you even need it! Seriously, I've never seen anyone look so perfect without it. You're almost unreal!"_

_Oh. Oh. Noctis knows her face is growing hot, and she hopes the makeup will hide any pink on her cheeks. "Oh, yeah?" she breathes, not sure if she should trust the compliments. Prompto is her best friend, right? She's bound to be biased. But, then, that's exactly how Noctis feels about her. Prompto is absolutely gorgeous, almost to a point that makeup is an insult. Sometimes it covers her freckles, one of Noctis' favorite parts of her. But, sometimes, it also highlights the best parts of Prompto's face. Her cute button nose, her dimples. The way her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks. When she smiles, and her lips are shimmery with gloss or bold with lipstick, how they look so…_

_Noctis licks her own lips, mindful of how worn and dry they feel. Prompto cocks her head, her eyes resting low on Noctis' face for a second. She's reaching for a drawer then, and she comes back holding a little tube. "Red goes great on people with dark hair," Prompto muses, twisting the tube to coax the lipstick out. Noctis can't remember how to breathe when Prompto leans forward, their eyes almost level, but somehow this feels better than breathing. That slim hand, calloused from training for months, is starting to feel at home on Noctis' face._

_Noctis parts her lips, allowing Prompto to apply the maroon color. It's quiet, but Noctis doesn't feel the awkwardness she anticipated. Prompto glances from Noctis' mouth to her eyes, and they share a look for…Noctis loses track of time. When they do finally break apart, it's because of thunder cracking outside, shaking the house and their souls. Prompto clears her throat, straightening up so that she can appraise Noctis, who does her best to square her shoulders and look as regal as possible. Prompto smiles at her. "My best masterpiece, yet!"_

_Noctis has never felt beautiful, but Prompto makes her feel as radiant as the stars._

* * *

"It just…never felt right. It didn't feel like it was supposed to." Noctis thought you were supposed to be drunk before you started leaking secrets, but here she was, so much more pouring out of her. She was a cracking dam, the waters swollen and angry from the months of heavy rain.

Prompto had been uncharacteristically quiet, though she hadn't stopped stroking her fingers down Noctis' back. The warm pads of her fingertips had made their way beneath the rumpled top, rubbing circles against milky skin. Noctis sunk into the touch, soaking it up into her parched being. "What's it…supposed to feel like?" Prompto whispered.

Noctis let her eyes slip open, vision blurry and stinging as she raised her head just enough to look at her friend. Prompto stared back at her, mouth slightly agape. When Noctis glanced at her lips, she noticed the familiar pink shimmer of Prom's favorite gloss. When Noctis licked her own lips, they tasted of salt. "I…I'm not sure," she admitted, her voice barely breaking above a murmur. She wasn't sure why they were suddenly so afraid to break the soft quiet, but to do so would feel like breaking something fragile. "I've never…I mean, I thought it was just supposed to  _be_. I didn't think it'd feel right or wrong. Maybe I'm just broken—"

"Hey, hey, ssh," Prompto hushed, smoothing one hand through Noctis' hair and moving the strands stuck to her face. No longer crying, but with her face still damp, Noctis couldn't imagine the mess she looked like. Couldn't be much worse than the wreckage inside. "Noct, why would you think such an awful thing? You aren't broken! You're the most perfect thing I've ever seen!" Prompto smiled, but it was wistful, and Noctis felt like a photograph; a picture of a place or memory that Prompto loved, but couldn't go back to. She felt precious and revered in the wake of Prompto's gaze, and her words, those terribly earnest words.

Noctis tried to laugh, to conjure some sort of familiarity, but only a weak exhale came.  _Perfect, perfect, perfect._

* * *

_Trembles wrack Noctis' hands, ruining any hope of her holding the glass of water Prompto had tried coaxing her to drink from. All she can do is bury her shaking fingers in her hair, clutching her head as she bends forward with a sick groan. "I can't get it right," Noctis says, her voice catching in her throat as it had all afternoon, like there's a trap waiting for it. "He's so disappointed in me, and why shouldn't he be? I can't even prove to him I can do this on my own!"_

_A pang of pain shoots through Noctis' gut, and she curls in on herself further, her head almost resting on her knees. She can't bring herself to look up, not at the cellphone she's just used to speak to her concerned father nor at the laptop screen showing a string of lowering grades. She isn't sure how this ended up with her father calling her; who ratted on her, who did they call that took it directly to the king? She doesn't want him worrying about her, worrying about stupid things like whether his daughter can stay on top of her work when he should be worrying about…important things. Noctis can't bear to look at the vibrant mark of her failure. She hasn't been able to keep up with her work lately, not with her heart so heavy that all she can do at night is lie and stare at her ceiling._

_No one understands. Her teachers have almost all approached her to lecture her personally, stating their clear disapproval for anything less than perfect._

" _You're the Crown Princess, you must set an example."_

" _Nothing is more important than your work, you must put aside your social whims and focus on becoming a good, intellectual politician!"_

" _This is shameful, Your Highness. You have every opportunity for the best tutors, for studying, and you allow this to happen? You're a princess, what else could you be worrying about when you can simply hire others to worry for you?"_

_Noctis squeezes her fingers against her head as she bites back a sob, a painful throb emanating in her skull from her attempts at repressing her crying. She hadn't told her father about what the teachers say to her. She deserves their bitter lectures, and she doesn't want to cause any problems, not when her father is so stressed. He's using a cane, now, for god's sake! He's still over a year shy of turning fifty, and he has to use a cane to get around, now? He looks like the entire weight of Lucis is resting on his shoulders, and not one person is helping him carry it. How can she hope to save him if she can't do this right, if she can't make him proud of her?_

" _I'm the worst princess ever," she whispers, and she wants to substitute "princess" for so many words. She's an awful daughter, an ungrateful student, probably a terrible friend, too. That's why she's only got Prompto. Even Ignis and Gladio are starting to lose their patience with her—how can't they? Noctis can hardly will herself to go anywhere, much less focus on her work or training or every other stupid fucking thing she has to worry about, all while her father wastes away in front of her very eyes._

" _Hey, hey, c'mon." Prompto's voice is so soft, like she's talking to a cat and trying to coax it to trust her. Noctis doesn't feel much different from a skittish, bedraggled stray, right about now. In fact, if she could abandon all her suffocating responsibilities and go out to lurk around the arcade alley, she might do exactly that. "Noct, you have to stop talking like that. You're being your own worse enemy."_

_Noctis snorts, though it's hard when her face is all mashed against her knees. "No, I'm my own worse…everything!" Noctis can't even imagine where she could've gone with that, but where she ended up makes enough sense. "I don't yell at myself enough, actually. If I did, maybe I could get myself together and stop being such an embarrassment."_

_Prompto's hand, which had been resting on Noctis' back moments before, suddenly whaps against the princess' shoulder. Noctis flinches with a startled "Hey!" and rubs at her arm. She turns an affronted glower towards Prompto, who's standing with her hands on her hips._

" _Quit it," Prompto warns, her voice hard. "You have so much more going on than anyone else sees. I don't care what some jerk teacher says, and I don't care what Ignis or Gladio have to say, either! If they can't see you're trying your best, well, I…they need glasses! Better glasses, in Ignis' case!"_

_Noctis leans back, straightening some from her protective ball. Her jaw has dropped, completely taken aback by her best friend's…well, it feels like a lecture, but it's a lecture in her favor, so maybe Noctis should just call it a speech. When she does snap herself out of her daze, Noctis rubs the back of her hand across one of her eyes as she shakes her head. "You don't get it, Prom. I…I can't just be 'Noctis' for them, I have to be…I have to…" Noctis had a whole explanation ready, because she's thought it so many times before._

_But, when she tries to say it out loud, it suddenly feels so jumbled and heavy, and she can't find all the pieces, because there's so many that she has to play. She feels like she's the entire chess board. She has to be the princess, a ruler, a good politician. She has to be liberal and fair, but conservative of their history and culture. She has to know this and that and memorize everything she hears, she has to know the justice system and financial system better than she knows herself. Noctis has to become the best queen for Lucis, and it feels like she's running out of time to get there. She doesn't even feel like Noctis, anymore. She just feels like a pawn, and now she's realizing that's how everyone sees her dad, because no one is acting like his decreasing health is a problem at all. This is just the price you pay for Lucis._

_Noctis doesn't notice Prompto moving, doesn't realize the gentle rocking motion is because Prompto has wrapped her up in a hug and is gently moving them back and forth. Noctis, so used to sitting alone with her panic or swallowing it whole to avoid Ignis or someone else seeing it, never noticed her own breathing pick up. Prompto had, though. Of course she had. She noticed things about Noctis that the princess herself didn't, and Noctis is starting to think Prompto knows her better than she knows herself. It was like meeting someone only to find they were a missing piece of yourself—a scene from some overdone genre, Noctis thinks._

_Noctis covers Prompto's hands with her own, and they squeeze tight. Prompto takes the chance to tug Noctis closer, bringing her to rest most of her weight against the blonde. It's not the most comfortable, but it also feels just right. "You're right," Prompto sighs, "I don't understand everything. I don't understand half the royal jargon Ignis spits out, I don't understand the etiquette, or the pressure. But…I think you're doing great. I think you're wonderful, just the way you are, and I wouldn't trade you for the world."_

_It's the first time Noctis has cried in front of Prompto, and the first time she's felt so utterly human._

* * *

Prompto always gave, she'd never taken from Noctis. She'd always supported and smiled, laughed and treated Noctis like…Noctis. There was no title, no princess, no overbearing expectations that loomed over Noctis. She didn't worry about keeping Prompto beside her, she didn't worry about having to impress or put on or pretend. She didn't pry herself open and give Prompto parts of herself, because Prompto would always cup her hands and gently push it back. Noctis didn't crack with Prompto, she blossomed, armor melting, and she  _shared_  herself.

Her magic, her secrets, her love. Her introversion and other unbecoming traits, her geeky hobbies, all things Prompto either shared or accepted, because when wasn't she accepting Noctis? When wasn't she loving Noctis for who she was? Whether she was falling asleep in the middle of an important debate about television drama characters, or when she was holding Prompto's waist to balance her on a precarious edge so the blonde could take the perfect photo.

"Prom," Noctis savored her best friend's name, allowed it to touch her lips and chase the taste of salt away. Prompto's hands on her suddenly felt intimate, as if Noctis were indulging in a secret and someone was about to catch her and destroy her (and Prompto). Shame welled in Noctis' chest, wrapping around her heart and giving it a squeeze. It hurt so much worse than it had before, when it had been Gladio. "I…I'm sorry," Noctis gasped out, shoving off the couch and almost tripping where her legs had been tangled with Prompto's. "I'm sorry, I can't, I…I'm…" Noctis never found the conclusion to that, her voice raw and stumbling as it clawed its way ahead of her brain. Prompto reached out for her, calling her name, but Noctis jerked herself out of reach as if the touch might burn.

It felt like fire to run away from it.

Noctis heard the door slam behind her as she threw herself into the evening air. She hadn't noticed time passing, but as she ran down the sidewalk and through the city, her legs yelling profanities all the while, she realized darkness was falling fast. Ignis was going to give her hell six ways to Sunday—oh, gods, what if Gladio told him about what had happened? What if Ignis knew, and he knew she was…was…

"What am I?" Noctis asked herself, her teeth grinding together so she wouldn't sob. Noctis had not ever asked herself such a question. She'd always known what she was; she was the princess, heir to the crown who would one day take it and rule Lucis. She was royal, she was expected to be the best, to follow the path so painstakingly paved for her. Each brick stepped on by those who walked before her, and spat on by those who watched. Noctis knew what she was because everyone told her what she was. No one had told her this. No one had told her what it was supposed to feel like. She'd only known it was expected of her. How could she say she didn't want it, how could she look anyone in the eye and tell them that? They would know, they would dig their grubby hands inside her and start pulling out pieces again, writing awful stories with her blood.

Noctis threw up outside her apartment building. It didn't make her feel much better, but it did ease the rolling tides of her belly. She was lucky it was growing dark, no one was around to witness her shame as she wiped her mouth and stumbled her way towards the elevator. She was torn between where to go—Prompto's house was her home away from home, and Gladio's place was obviously out of the equation. Noctis could have gone out somewhere; the arcade, a hotel, anything, but she knew someone would come looking for her. Besides, she didn't want anyone seeing her like this. So, despite her fears of Ignis awaiting her arrival, lecture prepped and ready, Noctis had nowhere else to go.

Thumping against her door like a drunken wastrel, Noctis punched her key into the lock. Another thing she'd lashed out at today. Was it weird to feel guilty over inanimate things?

Ignis didn't come to meet her, but she caught sight of his shoes neatly sat beside the door, proving her fears true. Her feet were light against the floor, almost tip-toeing, as if she thought she might get past him. That plan wouldn't've worked in her favor, even if she hadn't headed for the kitchen, strolling right towards her own doom.

It was as inconspicuous as ever, the homely sight of Ignis at the counter, chopping vegetables that he knew Noctis wouldn't eat. She leaned against the doorframe, too tired to support herself, and watched her advisor for a few moments, hungering for the poise and forever unaffected way he held himself. Almost nothing got to Ignis, she thought. When they were kids, he'd been a little more prone—as children were, and yes, Ignis was once a child—but now, he reminded Noctis more of a ruler than she'd ever be.

Sharp eyes peered over the rim of silver glasses, catching sight of Noctis. She offered him an exhausted, pitiful excuse of a smile as he straightened, regarding her as one might a wounded animal. She must look the part, she'd been running around everywhere, sobbing and throwing up secrets and bile. Her hair was everywhere except in its bun, and she could hardly see with her swollen eyes—oh, perhaps that was because of the fresh tears springing forth. She'd been crying far too much for someone running and fighting half the day. "Iggy…think 'm dehydrated," Noctis said, before she collapsed to the kitchen floor in a graceless heap.

She wasn't entirely out of it, but she definitely wasn't all there. She could hear Ignis' frustrated swear, a rare occurrence, but she couldn't find the energy to help him when he rushed to her side and picked her up. Her head lolled against his chest as he adjusted her in his arms, demonstrating a strength it didn't appear he'd have, and carried her to the sofa. "How can either of them hope to guard you if they can't stop you running yourself ragged," she heard Ignis utter in exasperation, and in spite of herself Noctis let a smile tug at her lips. Always worried about her.

A straw pressed against her lips, Ignis' hand cupping the back of her head to support her. Taking greedy swallows of the cool water, tangy with lemon, Noctis drank until Ignis stole it from her. She whined with protest, but Ignis only tisked. "You'll get ill, Highness. You can finish it in a few minutes," he explained, sighing through his nose. He combed her hair from her eyes, though she doubted it made a difference. She'd be brushing it out for two hours, tonight. "I don't much care for the sudden heart attack, Noct. Do you wish to tell me what happened, today, and why I didn't find you at the citadel?"

Oh, that tone. The one that meant Ignis knew, but he didn't know enough, and he wanted her input. Feeling childish, Noctis turned her face into the side of the couch and crossed her arms. "Gladio didn't tell you?" she grumbled. She figured he'd be eager to spill the beans.

Ignis reclined some, his expression schooled into something neutral with careful practice. "Perhaps he mentioned an argument," he conceded, "but that doesn't explain why you would abandon training and hide out for hours with Prompto. Nor, and forgive me, does it explain why you came home looking like you've been trampled by a pack of Garula."

Noctis snorted, rubbing her hand over her face and smearing tears. "Thanks, Ig, you know how to make me feel special," she teased. Ignis hummed, but he didn't speak again. It was her turn. Swallowing a deep breath, Noctis dug her fingers into her arms. "I don't think it's going to work with Gladio, Iggy." She didn't think it ever would have. It was always going to be wrong, somehow, she couldn't give all of herself to him.

"I see," said Ignis, measured. "Why would that be?"

Try as she might, Noctis couldn't help but feel the sting of accusation, no matter how evenly Ignis had asked the question. Hunkering her shoulders, Noctis began to consider if she could somehow warp through the nearest window.

Nah. She'd probably kill herself and anyone below her. Talk about ruining her image.

"Ignis…have you ever felt like you were different?" Noctis praised herself on getting through the sentence with only slight hesitance. If she'd let herself, she'd probably be traipsing through the question a week from now. She braved a glance at Ignis, but it didn't last long before she'd turned it away again.

Ignis inhaled deep, holding it in his chest for a moment. Noctis was seventeen, "different" could mean bloody anything. So, he went the middle route. "I believe we all feel different at some point in our lives, Noct. We all experience different things." He paused for a moment to allow his words to settle before he ventured an inquiry. "What is it that's got you worried?"

"Nothing," Noctis rushed. Ignis raised a dubious brow, glancing from his charge's wet cheeks to her mussed hair to the protective way she was attempting to burrow herself into the couch.

"Nothing…" he repeated, the flat word hanging in the air for Noctis to see how bullshit it was. "That's why you ran from Gladio, ran from Prompto, and why you passed out in your own kitchen, is it?"

"Damn it, Ignis, can't you let me get away with anything?" Noctis groaned, burying her face in her hands. Vaguely, she thought she heard  _"No, I'm afraid I can't."_ from Ignis, but it was hard to listen over her own heart. She held her hands over her face for a moment, breathing deep, seriously believing she had her crying under control. Imagine her disgust when her shoulders began to shake with renewed sobs. "Some leader I'll be," she rasped. "I'm a disgrace."

Ignis winced at that. He'd refrained from touching Noctis out of respect for her fragile state, but he allowed himself a careful hand on her knee. "Noctis, I don't understand what's brought this on, and I would appreciate you telling me. I respect if you don't wish to, but I do believe it'd be easier than bottling it up like this." He squeezed her leg. "Whatever it is, it can't be worse than anything else we've weathered."

Noctis wasn't sure about that. Nothing else had really had the potential to disown her. But, her chest hurt too much from sobbing and trying to breathe. "I can't be with Gladio. It…feels wrong," she said, leaning her forehead against the dampened leather of the sofa. "I don't think I can be with any guy."

Silence fell over the room, along with an immense blanket of guilt and regret. It had come out just like that, she hadn't thought it would tumble from her mouth so easily, it was like a jailbreak. An admission so desperate for freedom, and she was the guard left staring dumbly after it. What had she done, oh fuck, what had she done? Ignis was going to hate her, he was gonna yell at her about being an icon for her people—what if he told her father? She was going to be sick again.

"Highness…Noct, will you look at me?" Noctis shuddered as she listened to Ignis' request. He didn't sound angry. His voice was low, coaxing her to raise her head and peer at him from underneath clumped eyelashes. His jaw was set tight, but his eyes were looking at her with that same worried fondness he used to reserve for when he was comforting her after a screaming nightmare. It made Noctis feel so very small. "Noctis, are you saying you believe you're gay?"

Only hearing the words were enough to drive Noctis into panic. She raised a hand to her head, burying her fingers in her hair. She'd never used the word for herself, not…not out loud. It wasn't a secretive, taboo word. It was becoming prominent in media finally, she had plenty of people around her of all sorts of different sexualities or gender identities. It wasn't like the word "gay" was some unfamiliar idea for her. But, for herself? No. She couldn't. She was a political icon; it could threaten treaties, ruin ally-ships, people would talk about her and shun her. The fucking press got mad at her once for wearing short-shorts to the beach, they'd called her disrespectful. What on earth could they say about this? What if her father forbade her from the crown because she was unfit? He was already at his limits, he worried about her so much, how could she do this to him?

"Noctis, you have to breathe. Focus on my voice," Ignis' soothing tone against her ear snapped Noctis back, where she found her chest was tight and Ignis' arms were around her. He was counting, she realized. After a few minutes, Noctis began to follow his steady counting, inhaling and exhaling at his guidance until she could do it on her own. It seemed a little unfair that her own lungs could try suffocating her.

"I'm sorry, Iggy," she rasped, too drained to hold herself up. Ignis didn't seem to mind. "I didn't mean… It's just every time Gladio touched me, it was so…and when Prompto touches me, it's…I thought I could ignore it, I thought if I dated a guy it'd go away and make me normal." There she went again, spilling secrets the way a drunkard spilled his wine.

Ignis tightened his arms around her shoulders, almost enough to make her wince. It was a huge step from when she'd thought he'd be scolding her and leaving her alone in her apartment to wither. "Noctis, don't speak like that," he told her. She'd found the scolding, but it wasn't what she'd been expecting. She tugged away enough so that she may look up at him. He dropped his arms, though he didn't lean back for fear she would go toppling over the edge again. "Forgive me, Noct, but you shouldn't deride yourself like that. There is nothing for you to hide or feel shame for."

Noctis ran her wrist over one of her eyes, her face finally starting to dry. "Have you ever heard of a lesbian princess? People already give me so much crap, Ig. Everyone needs me to be the perfect icon, what am I gonna do?" The word "lesbian" was…not bad, its shape in her mouth seemed to fit, unlike her other labels had. Yet it still felt too big for her.

"Why can you not be a healthy icon as you are?" Ignis asked carefully. "I think there's a grand chunk of the country who could use such an icon. Pride in yourself is the utmost vital part of a leader, Highness. You have to hold yourself high. Nothing about you has changed, Noctis, aside from your ability to be yourself."

He looked down at her with such conviction that Noctis didn't have it in her to argue. She did lean her forehead against his shoulder, though, her body trembling with a shiver. She was so, so tired, but she'd never felt so light. Not even when she'd taken her first step after her injuries in childhood. This was a secret she'd harbored for so long, before she even understood the difference between crushing on boys or girls. It had always been a part of her. "I'm so tired, Iggy," she murmured, to which he chuckled, his voice rumbling near her ear.

"Get some rest, Highness. It has been a difficult…time. I'll be here in the morning." Ignis helped Noctis to stand, albeit she did so reluctantly. "Though, I do believe there are a couple of people deserving of an explanation, tomorrow."

Noctis exhaled a tremulous sigh. Already, she could feel her brain failing to think of the right words in a conversation not even begun. She had to, though. Gladio needed to understand, and Prompto… Noctis steeled herself. She just had to explain, that was it. "Thanks, Ig. I, uh…thanks." Noctis rubbed at the back of her neck while Ignis returned to the kitchen to clean things up. He turned a small, knowing smile over his shoulder.

"Anytime, Highness."

Noctis smiled back, grateful he knew what she wanted to convey. She'd never be capable of voicing her appreciation and love for him, but at least he seemed to know. She trudged to her room, where a mountain of responsibility rested atop her too-inviting bed. She shed her clothes, making the poor choice to simply shower in the morning, and fell into bed. She landed on the towering pile of responsibility, unfortunately, and she groaned deep in her chest. As exhausted as she was, she knew she wasn't going to sleep a wink. She could already see Gladio in her mind's eye, scowling down at her. And Prompto, her worried face turning into confusion, and then to…

Noctis shook her head. Ignis was right, there was no point in focusing on it. Noctis was…she just was. And if he accepted her, why couldn't her other friends? It was remiss of her to even think they would hate her for this. Neither Gladio or Prompto were so cruel. But Noctis' head was. She'd practically taught it to be, after years of repression. Could she change it, if she really tried? Well, she had to start with actually admitting it, didn't she?

Gripping her phone in white knuckles to dial it, Noctis waited with baited breath until she heard the line pick up on the other end.

"Prom? Can we talk tomorrow? I have something I need to tell you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of it seems very…generic/stereotypical, but I wanted it that way lmao. The whole flowery "can he touch you like I can, can he make you feel like I do?" thing. Gladio can be a gentle giant and he'd never hurt Noctis, but for this fic I just needed him to be…this. I tried my best to make it clear there was never any abuse or manipulation or anything of the sort, simply discomfort and tension due to Noct's struggles with her identity.
> 
> Based some aspects around my own issues with coming out, along with trying to shape out Noctis' own personal struggles. Everyone has different experiences, but I remember being vicious about insisting I was straight. I wanted every boy's attention, as if that would prove to myself I was straight, without thinking that it didn't matter if my own attention wasn't on them, too. 
> 
> I can't really remember who I first came out to. I think it might've been a casual "yeah, I'm into girls" instead of a broad coming out, but I do remember telling my best friend as a kid and worrying he would think I was weird like so many others had. Of course, he hadn't, it didn't change a thing, and I wanted to represent that experience and close friendship. I mean…Ignis would obviously die for Noctis, so he's going to support her in anything. Catch Ignis sipping coffee as he supervises Noctis and Prompto on a date, procuring a dagger at the sight of any possible fucklord.


	3. Chapter 3

Noctis' assumption last night that she wouldn't be sleeping had been awfully misinformed. No, she'd slept like a rock, all the way until Ignis had to knock on her door because her alarm wasn't getting through to her. Now, she sat stock-still on her bed, staring blearily at her wall as she tried to come to grips with consciousness. She still felt groggy and drained in spite of sleeping through the night, even having gone to bed early; once she'd finished her brief and awkward phone call with Prompto, who had mercifully agreed to meet with Noctis tomorrow without any further questioning. Usually, Prompto was quick to start her interrogations, but Noctis supposed even she was confused by yesterday. The gravity of the situation took up a big chunk in Noctis' chest, all the more reason to procrastinate getting out of bed.

Ignis' knock came to her door again, firm but lacking the familiar sharp impatience. "Highness, if you don't feel well enough for class today, I believe we could allow for a day off." Ignis' offer was like finding a rare gemstone; tempting and beautiful, but Noctis thought it better left alone. She couldn't cower out, now. Prompto would worry if Noctis didn't show up, and it wasn't fair to hide. She'd done enough of that for way too long. Noctis didn't think she'd be having her big talk at school, she'd much rather wait until they could get to one of their own homes. Noctis wasn't ready for anyone outside her tiny, precious circle to know, and she was afraid of eavesdroppers picking up the scent.

"I'll be out in a minute, Specs. Just let my personality catch up with me," Noctis called through the door, tripping over her blankets while climbing out of bed. She heard her advisor chuckle through the door, and well, at least she'd made someone's morning a little better. She wondered if Prompto was having the same stomach-twisting time, too.

"Oh, fuck," Noctis inhaled, and it wasn't just because she'd turned the shower water on too cold. She knew who else was probably having a shit morning—the guy who'd had a shit afternoon yesterday, all because of her. Noctis had gotten so caught up in her own crisis that she'd neglected to call or even text Gladio. Not that he'd done anything, either. That was suspicious, Noctis was willing to bet her Shield had forgone talking to her and instead messaged Ignis to make sure things were okay. If Ignis knew she'd gone right to Prompto's, Gladio had caught on, too. That was why he hadn't followed her, Noctis realized. And, if she were being fair, she understood why he wasn't too keen on talking to her right now. Even during a fight, he was still her Shield, but he'd trusted Prompto last night.

Well…neither of them could really protect Noctis from her own dumb choices, but hey, she'd undergone training, too. She hadn't broken her wrist warp-training with Nyx for nothing.

"Maybe I can catch him before school starts." Noctis slung her hair up out of her way, damp from the shower she'd completely dissociated through, and tried to smooth out her uniform that looked rumpled from her rush. She'd been hoping the warm water of her shower would snap her awake fully, but it had only lured her into false comfort, and had almost tricked her into sitting down under the hot spray. Nope, she'd fallen for that once.

Tripping out the door on one shoe, precariously trying to slip the other one on, Noctis almost crashed into Ignis on his way down the corridor. Presumably, he was on his way to check if she'd managed to get up. "Iggy!" Noctis straightened up, half-balanced with only one shoe, and the look Ignis gave her suggested he seriously doubted her ability to function at school. Noctis politely ignored that. "Can we stop and see Gladio? He should still be at home, right?" Gladio was an early riser, but six-thirty was early for anyone. Besides, he usually saw Iris off to school, when he could.

Ignis regarded Noctis carefully, though it didn't feel very reassuring. "Are you sure that's wise, Noct? It might be a stressful conversation to have right before class."

Noctis squared her shoulders. "I can't think only about myself," she stated, stealing Ignis' stone-edged tone. "I haven't been right to Gladio, and he needs to…understand why. It's the least I can do at this point, and I want to do it as soon as possible." Noctis looked down to the floor, guilt weighing her gaze and anchoring it there. She had been so unfair to Gladio, all this time. She'd never wanted to hurt him, but look at what she'd done. What if he didn't want to forgive her? Would she have to get a new Shield? Could he even resign? "Gladio deserves better," she eventually murmured.

"You both deserve better, Highness." Ignis' hand clasped Noctis' shoulder, resting with a comforting weight even when Noctis shrank away from his words. "You both deserve someone right for you. Gladio can see just as much as you that you were not right for one another."

Noctis cringed at that. Had Gladio really? Had she been the only blind one here? Why had she allowed this to go on for so long… "I shouldn't have used him like this. I didn't…" Noctis trailed off, biting her words. They weren't for Ignis, and he understood that much. His hand slipped from her shoulder after delivering a reassuring squeeze. "We should get going, I want to catch him before he leaves."

Ignis was busy gathering his papers into his briefcase, leaving Noctis to ponder how long he'd been here working on documents. Sometimes he showed up early to take care of things around her apartment, or to get work of his own finished before he had to start their day. "You should eat first, Noct. You had a trying evening."

Noctis scrunched her nose, right about the time Ignis settled a flat look on her. "I'll snag something at school, Ig. I'm not gonna keep anything down right now, I don't think." In hopes of keeping Ignis from hounding her, Noctis pretended to focus on slipping her coat on and sorting through her bag to check she had everything she needed. Sadly, she didn't find a bottle of vodka or a stress ball. She did find a few stray dollar bills, though, that she flashed at Ignis to prove she'd buy a snack.

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose like he was dealing with an unruly, picky toddler. To his credit, it was not a farfetched comparison. But, unruly and picky or not, Noctis was the princess. "See to it you don't go passing out in class."

Ah. Yeah, Noctis wasn't going to be living that one down anytime soon. "Just get in the car, Ignis."

* * *

_It's easy. Just tell him. If he gets mad, warp out of the citadel. Yeah, I'll just tell Iggy to keep the car running and leave my door open, just in case._

Noctis' escape planning was, to put it lightly, downright fucking dramatic. In her defense, it had been a downright fucking dramatic couple of days. She already felt like she needed another shower, and she'd only been in the car for fifteen minutes. She was certain Ignis was being polite in ignoring her wriggly fidgeting and sharp breathing, the latter a bid to not get sick in her advisor's car. She owed Ignis enough as it was. At the rate she was headed, Noctis was gonna be indebted in her afterlife.

"I don't know if I can do this," she suddenly admitted, her voice breathless even as she sucked in oxygen like it was a dying resource. Ignis cut his eyes towards her, but Noctis was too busy, you know, trying not to hyperventilate. "What's he going to think of me, Ignis? What if he hates me?" Noctis had had Gladio at her side for as long as she could remember, from the tumultuous relationship they had as children to one of pure trust and loyalty. Gladio had been her rock, but what if she'd shattered that with her selfish, careless treatment? What if he didn't even believe her, called her attention seeking or a liar?

"Well, I do believe Iris would make a fantastic shield," Ignis mused. His wry seriousness made it impossible for Noctis not to snort, a terribly unladylike and sudden reaction that made her laugh even harder, though it came out a little hysterical.

"Iris won't have much left to guard if Gladio freaking buries me," Noctis pointed out. Ignis, luckily, wasn't prone to his charge's dramatics. As he pulled up to Gladio's home, he double-checked the door was locked, subtly ensuring Noctis wasn't about to bolt from the car.

"Highness, you have to consider that you're letting your nerves ahead of your brain. Gladio has been with you since the beginning. He is not going to hate you, nor will he take it out on you. As I said, he is no fool. Both of you deserve the right relationship." Ignis pushed his spectacles into place high on his nose, the glinting flash of the glass serving his "no nonsense, logical reasoning" speech well.

Noctis wilted, her shoulders sagging as tension vacated her muscles. From relief or from exhaustion, she wasn't sure. She leaned back in her seat to gather herself for a second, her mouth pursing in thought as she shot her longtime friend a look through her eyelashes. "I think your talents are wasted, Iggy. You could be counseling whole classes, by now. 'Get your shit together, with Ignis Scientia!'"

Ignis' expression remained passive as he brought his can of Ebony to his lips. "You're more than enough of a handful, Highness. Now, get out of the car."

"That payback for this morning?" she asked, giggling on her way out. Her chest certainly felt lighter, like there was enough room for both her heart and her lungs; but as she traipsed up to the door, that room began to diminish. Something ugly was filling the hollow inside her, something dark. She didn't have to look over her shoulder to reassure herself that Ignis was still there, waiting in the car, and she knew if she truly wanted to leave, she could at any moment. But, as much as he was her support, he was also her advisor, there to guide her. At times, a little more forcefully than others. Having even one person know her secret made Noctis a little less afraid, like it wasn't the colossal titan she had spent so long cowering from, too afraid to even look up at it.

If she could face it once, she could face it again.

Her fist was clenched tight as she rapped it against the door, each knock echoing in the silence of the early, foggy morning. She waited—one second, two, three, each passing moment her heartbeat seemed to grow louder. It was on the eighth second that the door opened, and her thundering heart fell silent.

Gladio stood in front of her, looking like she was the last person he was expecting when he opened the door. Noctis bet she mirrored his surprise, but like always, Gladio was the first to recover. He leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms as he appraised her. "Didn't think I'd be hearing from you, today. You done running away?"

Ouch. Noctis rubbed at her arm, looking any place that didn't contain Gladio. "Uh, mostly. We'll see. Can I come in?"

She'd never been the most eloquent, and Noctis was grateful for that when it meant she could get away with her awkward way with words without anyone suspecting things. Gladio stared at her for a moment (she did not stare back) before he relented. He stepped aside, more of a door than his actual door had been, and Noctis darted past him. "Is…is Clarus here?" she asked, wringing her hands together.

Gladio blew a sigh out of his nose. She could feel his impatience, thick in the air like a summer heatwave. It set her even more on edge, but she had to be safe. If Clarus found her out, Regis would know within the hour. Noctis wasn't ready, no, not for that. Maybe never for that. But, she wasn't here to talk to her father, nor to Clarus. She was only here to talk to Gladio. That, she was ready for.

"No, he's already at the citadel. Iris left early for some meetup. It's just us, so if you got something to say, spit it out." Gladio's eyes burned into Noctis, not quite a scowl.

Noctis inhaled, long and slow. "Gladio, I'm…I'm sorry. This—we aren't working out. It's not right for us." Noctis wanted to screw her eyes shut while she spoke, but she managed not to. She didn't quite manage to look him in the eye, though. She listened to the "thunk" of Gladio tilting his head back against the wall he was leaned against, a chuckle scoffing from his lips.

"I kind of figured that when you stormed away from me, crying," he told her, to which Noctis rubbed at her neck sheepishly.

"Yeah, not my proudest moment," she smiled shakily.

Gladio rolled his eyes. "Wasn't mine, either. I shouldn't have pushed you. Look, we knew this wasn't gonna work out. It was just—"

"Wait," Noctis cut in sharply, holding one of her hands out towards Gladio. She looked up at him finally, her pained expression making Gladio's brows crinkle with worry. "I…I have something else to tell you. And—and if you want to be angry at me or whatever, fine. I want to get it all out here, okay?" Noctis didn't let Gladio answer her very rhetorical question. He might've tried, because his mouth opened, but it also could've just been in surprise. It didn't matter, Noctis knew if she didn't spit it out now, she'd lose the will to do it. She'd swallow her confession and she'd never retch it up again.

"Gladio, I know why we didn't work out. And why I wanted to date you. I was trying to prove to myself I could be with a man, but…I…I can't." Noctis shut her eyes, gritting her teeth against the tremble in her jaw. "I'm gay, Gladdy."

The familiar nickname rolled from her tongue easily, softening the edge of her confession against her tongue. Radio silence followed, booming in Noctis' ears louder than any daemon shrieking. She bravely pried one eye open and peered up at Gladio.

He hadn't left, so that was a plus, at least. He was staring at her, his mouth slightly open. His face was smooth, the angry lines of his scowl long gone and replaced with…with…Noctis couldn't tell. Surprise, confusion? Was it about to morph into disgust? Gladio couldn't stand dishonesty, not in anyone. Noctis had led him on—not on purpose, not truly, but why should Gladio have to see that? It was just an excuse.

Noctis did not cry. She didn't hyperventilate and she didn't shake. She did briefly see black spots in front of her eyes, but stubbornly chalked that up to a lack of breakfast. "Just listen, please?" Noctis pleaded, and Gladio blinked, focus flickering back into his eyes. "I never meant for things to get this far. I thought…I wanted to be what you all wanted, I thought I could do that. I really did think we would work, I was never trying to hurt you, please—" Noctis was on the verge of imploring Gladio to believe her, but his gruff utterance of her name cut her off suddenly. She halted immediately, sucking in a breath as well as the end of her plea. Noctis bit her lip, only barely standing her ground under Gladio's piercing gaze. He should be proud of her, if she didn't crumble under him, she sure wasn't going to break under any enemy.

"Did you really think that?" Gladio asked, his harsh tone grating. Noctis flinched, and she went to back up a step, but Gladio suddenly took two forward. "Did you actually think that you had to hide that from us? From me?" his words pained Noctis, fresh guilt washing over her.

"No. No, it's not that, I wasn't hiding it from you!" Noctis raised her voice, surprising even herself. "I was hiding it from myself!" Her nails dug against her palm, but she hardly noticed the faint pain. She'd kept her secret close to her for so long, it had even been a secret to her for a period, when there were no other options except the ones laid out for her. When she thought her crush on her favorite female superhero was what every girl went through. "I didn't…I was confused, okay? I wanted to be the perfect princess for everyone, and I just…I didn't think I could be both." Noctis wrapped her arms tight around herself, shielding herself even as she stood before her own Shield.

Gladio stood motionless before Noctis for several moments, his chest heaving with breath from his moment of anger. That seemed to have melted, though, his jaw no longer tight and his eyes regarding her not in a glare, but in confusion, like she were something new.

"I'm sorry," Noctis eventually said, breaking the silence that had formed over them. Gladio blinked, lifting his head some and squinting at her apology. "I just want us to be okay. I want you to be happy, and you deserve someone who can give you that. Are we…can you forgive me?"

Gladio shut his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, huffing out a dry laugh that lacked anything even resembling humor. Noctis cringed at that, her brain launching halfway through a scene where Gladio kicked her out of his house and called her every name under the Astrals. Before she reached the conclusion of her awful story, though, Gladio spoke. "Noct, I'm not mad." He'd stolen the pen from her and was rewriting the entire thing.

"I…what?" she asked intelligently.

Gladio scoffed, a fond smirk overtaking his lips. "I was never mad. Confused as hell, sure, but I'm not angry at you. Am I upset you didn't feel safe enough to come out? Yeah, a little. I wish we'd never made you feel like that."

Noctis wanted to jump in and say that no one had really made her feel like that—none of them, anyway. It was mostly expectations and her own doubts. While she dwelled on that, she'd lost her chance to cut in.

"I'm here to keep you safe. That includes feeling safe enough to be yourself, got it?" Gladio paused then, and Noctis realized he was waiting on an answer. She could only nod her head, feeling numb, and that was never a good time to speak. Her tongue always tripped her up. "Good. Besides, I don't think we would've worked, anyway. Too much reckless, hardheaded energy between us." Gladio rolled his shoulders in a shrug while Noctis laughed, both incredulous with the blasé acceptance and with the description of their former relationship.

"You're just scared I'll get stronger than you. Can't have a girlfriend that kicks your ass?" Noctis' catlike smile mirrored Gladio's unimpressed lower.

"Long way to go, princess. Now, get your ass back to the car before Ignis comes to check if we're still alive."

That was a true enough concern. Noctis shook herself free of any clinging nerves, her heart no longer heavy but her body still feeling drained out. She hadn't realized this would take so much of her. On her way past Gladio, Noctis stopped and threw her arms around her Shield in a crushing hug, smiling when she heard Gladio emit a startled "ooph" at the sudden attack. It had been ages since she could touch Gladio and not feel an uncomfortable mix of guilt and pressure, and she had missed their amicable closeness. For a breath, Gladio was still, and Noctis feared she'd overstepped a boundary he wasn't ready for yet.

But soon, his arms encircled her, one hand between her shoulders and the other resting atop her head. It was the same familiar comfort she'd indulged in plenty of times before, when she'd needed her Shield. This was what they needed from one another; their friendship, their titles. As she sank against Gladio, Noctis felt an overwhelming ocean of relief bubbling over her. "I'll see you later, Gladdy. Thanks," she whispered, untangling herself from his mass.

Gladio smirked as he waved her out. "Say hi to sunshine for me."

"Right," Noctis murmured absently, her thumbnail between her teeth. Two down, one to go, still. Noctis may have felt weary, but as she made her way back to Ignis' car, she walked with a spring in her step. Without the hand of her secret pushing her down, Noctis felt almost light enough to float. She had two people she knew she could trust, whom she had always trusted. Maybe there would be terrifying, challenging times ahead, but as long as she had them at her side, Noctis was pretty sure it'd be okay. Optimism went a long way. So did shutting your eyes and punching blindly at your problems until you didn't feel them anymore.

"I take it that it went well?" Ignis didn't look at Noctis as he backed out of the driveway. For all of a second, Noctis looked forward to going home and passing out on her couch. When Ignis drove the opposite way from paradise was when she remembered she was on the highway to hell.

"Yeah—great, actually. I…I didn't expect this to be so easy," Noctis confessed, though it partly felt like she was insulting her friends saying so.

Ignis shot her a sidelong glance, but it was so brief Noctis thought she might've imagined it, for his eyes were on the road when she looked at him. "We're your retainers, Noctis. More than that, we are your friends. There's little you could do to waver either," Ignis' words were becoming familiar, but they were slow in ingraining themselves in Noctis' head. "Nothing about you has changed, aside from you gaining more courage and liberty. We're proud of you, Highness."

Oh. Noctis hadn't been expecting that. The promises of sticking by her side were a little more anticipated, but for Ignis to say he was proud of her? Warmth colored Noctis' cheeks, and she smiled into her hand as she brought it up to pick at her lips. "Thanks, Ig. It…means a lot, having you guys. You deserve a vacation, y'know? I know you've been wanting to take a trip out. I'll pester dad about giving you the greenlight—won't be easy, though. Nyx has asked for time off, too."

Noctis looked out the window when she saw they were approaching the school, just missing Ignis' careful  _"Has he?"_ as she became distracted by the sudden writhing in her gut. Prompto wasn't at the gate to meet her like usual.

Not that Noctis could blame her, she'd quite literally shoved her friend away yesterday and bolted. All after bursting into her house crying on her. Prompto was just as upset about the situation. Still, not seeing her made Noctis want to order Ignis to turn around and just take her home.

Gripping the door-handle fiercely, Noctis told her anxiety to shut the fuck up, and got out of the damn car. "You won't have to pick me up, Specs. I'm going to Prompto's house later, so we can talk."

Ignis nodded his head. "If you're sure."

No, she wasn't, but she was going to do it anyway. Even if Prompto decided not to show up at school, Noctis was still going to go. She couldn't bear having Prompto mad at her, and the longer she went without knowing if things were okay, the worse Noctis felt. She had to fix things.

Noctis walked with royalty in her gait, her head held high and her gaze straight ahead, daring anyone to stand in front of her. Today of all days, she needed that inner strength, if she was going to avoid unraveling at some point. Having an attack or meltdown in class was rock bottom on her list of things to get done. Passing through the gates, several students glanced her way; whether they were slack-jawed at her expression, hard and cold as crystal, or at the obvious lack of her best friend at her side, Noctis didn't know. Nor did she care, as long as they were too awed to try approaching her. She was well aware there was no way any of them could know about her coming out, but she felt raw and exposed anyway. Despite her worries about seeing Prompto and how it would go, Noctis wished more than anything to have the blonde beside her. A shield in her own right.

Almost to her first class, Noctis began to feel sweat beading on her brow. Her resolve threatened to crack, and she found herself wishing she'd listened to Ignis' advice. Stay home, eat breakfast, something that would mean she wasn't putting her hand on the wall to steady herself and feeling like her heart was going to thump out of her chest. What if she just…hid in the bathroom? She could claim a stomachache. It wasn't far off from the truth.

"Hey, sorry I missed you at the gate." A hand settled on the small of Noctis' back, as if it belonged there.

Jumping a bit, Noctis whipped her head to the side to see Prompto smiling, if a little nervously. "Prom!" Noctis smiled back, relief dripping from her voice. She had been fully prepared for the other girl to skip school. Or, rather, skip seeing her. "I was worried, I didn't think…" Noctis trailed off, her fingers toying with the hem of her shirt.

Prompto looked to the side, her teeth catching her lower lip and her shoulders shrugging loosely. "Well, I, uh, I couldn't leave you alone, right? You might get into some big trouble and no one would be around to save you!"

Noctis couldn't help her snicker. "My knight in shining armor sure has little faith in me," she teased, watching color blossom onto Prompto's cheeks. It made her freckles stand out all the more. Distantly, Noctis wondered how many Prompto even had. She seemed to earn a couple more every summer. She wondered if one day she'd get away with counting them—

"Oh! I brought you this," Prompto exclaimed, just remembering it. She fished a cinnamon roll out of her bag and pressed it forward into Noctis' hands. "You'll have to, like, shove it in your face in one bite before the teacher catches us," she giggled. "I figured you might forget to eat breakfast."

Noctis stared dumbly at the treat for a second. The café on campus was all the way across the school. Was that why Prompto hadn't met her at the gate? A warm swell burgeoned in Noctis' chest. Normally, Ignis wouldn't let her out of the house without ensuring she'd eaten, but there were still days Noctis sneaked out of it, namely when her stress was stealing all the room in her stomach. Thinking of Prompto worrying about her, seeing that she was so upset she might not want to eat, filled Noctis' entire being with a comforting serenity. It was…nice, having someone look after her, even when they weren't technically obligated to.

"Thanks. C'mon, she won't let us in if we're late this time," Noctis grinned, hooking her arm with Prompto's to hustle her into the classroom.

If the teacher noticed one princess' chipmunk cheeks full of cinnamon roll, or her best friend giggling uncontrollably beside her, she deigned not to comment on it.

* * *

"I'm telling you, he didn't even try to move! I was yelling at him to duck and everything!" Prompto waved her hands viciously in front of her as she regaled Noctis with the story of her clocking someone in the head with a basketball during gym. They were making their way back to Prompto's house after school—well, technically. They'd skipped their last period, but since it was just their free one, it wasn't as if anyone was going to miss them. It would still earn Noctis that infamous look of disappointment, but what people didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"Maybe he wanted you to knock him out. You'd have to give him CPR," Noctis smirked at Prompto's insulted gasp.

"Noctis! I don't have to knock anyone out to get them to kiss me," Prompto replied with a coy bat of her eyelashes. The pair snickered all the way into Prompto's house, struggling to muffle it in their hands several times, but never quite succeeding. It earned them bemused looks from the blonde's neighbors, but they were too used to the two young women to really be surprised by their antics anymore. These were the girls who ran screaming from the house last Halloween after terrifying themselves during a horror movie marathon.

"C'mon, I'm parched. I'm telling you, you gotta make it illegal to force students to run a mile each semester!" Prompto whined, slinking into her kitchen. Noctis shook her head fondly, leaning against the counter.

"Prom, don't you run like, two miles in the mornings?" Noctis cocked her head, patiently waiting for Prompto to drink half her weight in lemonade.

When she finally sat the glass down with a "clink", Prompto pointed a finger at Noctis. "That's me choosing to work out! It's different when I'm forced."

That…didn't make sense. Running was running, and it was terrible. Why Prompto willingly put herself through that, Noctis would never understand. She claimed it felt great coming off a runner's high, but Noctis wouldn't know. The only "high" she got from running was when she got lightheaded and dropped into the grass once she was done.

Noctis started for the fridge, intending on raiding, but Prompto moved at the same time. Their shoulders knocked together and Noctis gasped as she stumbled backwards towards the counter, but Prompto's hands shot out and grabbed Noctis' waist to stop her slamming against the unforgiving edge of the granite.

Noctis stopped breathing, Prompto's mouth so close to her that she was afraid to move. Bright blue eyes stared into hers, darting across her face as if mapping her expression. This close, Noctis could memorize every feature Prompto had, from her freckles to her pink lips, her thick eyelashes to the modest scar above her left eyebrow. Noctis remembered exactly how Prompto had earned it—in combat training with Cor, when a stray dagger had clipped Prompto during her first lessons with magic. Noctis still remembered kissing over the freshly healed mark.

Neither of them had moved, Prompto's hands still resting on Noctis' hips as if they were at home. Noctis hadn't moved to push them off, either. The light squeeze of Prompto's palms, the way her slim fingers fit like a puzzle piece against Noctis' skin, like she were born to go hand in hand with the princess. Prompto felt nothing like Gladio had. She wasn't heavy and hard, she didn't crowd Noctis or make her feel like she couldn't breathe.

Well, she sort of did, but in the way that made Noctis greedy to suck in another breath.

Prompto snapped out of the daze first, her eyes rounding with surprise while her hands dropped off Noctis' waist, pulling back like she'd been ordered to. Noctis' hand twitched, barely catching herself before she reached out for the touch that had left her. "I…sorry, should be more careful," Prompto stuttered, stringing together a sentence out of words that sounded mashed together.

"No!" Noctis rushed, quickly lowering her voice when Prompto's startled eyes shot back towards her. "No, don't be sorry. I didn't mind it."

Prompto watched her for a moment, long enough for Noctis to start to fidget. Had that been too straightforward? She'd only meant she wasn't upset at the accident, not…not the touch. Though she hadn't minded that, either. Prompto's eyes lifted suddenly, glancing above Noctis' brow. Noctis watched, her chest stilling as Prompto reached for her face. Gently, the blonde slid her fingertips against Noctis' forehead and down her cheek, her touch almost reverent, like she was touching something made of glass.

No, Noctis decided. Like she was touching something she treasured deeply.

Prompto paused, looking back into Noctis' eyes. She hadn't noticed Prompto leaning in again, but she was right in front of her, her hand still cupping Noctis' face. Noctis didn't know what they were doing—playing, teasing? Was this within the normal bounds of friendship? Maybe it would've been, if Noctis' heart wasn't bursting inside of her. Carefully, she wrapped her fingers around Prompto's wrist, pulling the blonde's hand closer.

"Your hair…" Prompto started, her voice absent. "It was in your face."

Noctis watched Prompto's lips as she spoke, every syllable as it shaped her mouth. She really didn't even hear what her friend was saying. "Prom," Noctis whispered, and she tasted, reveling in the way Prompto's name fit in her mouth. "I…I've been meaning to tell you something."

Prompto sucked in a breath then, and when she leaned back, Noctis followed her, not noticing her hand still holding onto Prompto. "Uh, Noct?"

Noctis blinked, looked to where her fingers were curled around a slender wrist, and promptly let go. She rubbed her hands together with a shaky laugh. "Hah, sorry. I'm just distracted. Can we…sit down?"

She might as well have spoken in a different language, for all that Prompto stared at her. It took Noctis tapping her knuckles gently against Prompto's cheek to get her request across. "Sit? Oh! Couch! Right!" Prompto stumbled back from Noctis and held an arm out, gesturing for Noctis to lead the way. Noctis felt a bit guilty for finding Prompto's awkward ineloquence so endearing.

The couch sank with Noctis' weight, and she fetched a pillow to rest it over her lap, giving her fingers something to scratch at. Prompto took a seat and crossed her legs, reminding Noctis of the way she tried to present herself at interviews or meetings at the citadel. She was always trying so hard to look professional, but Noctis would much rather she just be herself. Prompto could put on facades for those who mattered. Reaching out to smooth her hand against Prompto's knee, Noctis smiled when Prompto let her leg slide back to the floor. "So, what did you want to tell me?" Prompto asked slowly, tilting her head to fix Noctis with a soft look.

Oh. Yes. Noctis could almost forget, when she got so caught up in Prompto's…everything.

"Uh, yeah. It's…important," Noctis started, though it was about the worst introduction to a speech in the world. She cleared her throat, but it didn't give her the words she wanted. With Ignis and Gladio, it had been like expunging something from her body. Why did it feel so different with Prompto? It should be easier! Prompto was her best friend, she would be the most likely to accept it. But, what if she distanced herself? What if their closeness and constant affection became uncomfortable? Noctis couldn't bear the thought of losing out on that. Prompto was her closest physical bond, she was practically Noctis' heart. Noctis thought she might starve without Prompto touching her.

"Noct? You know you can tell me anything, right?" Prompto's sudden coaxing was so sweet, but it only made Noctis clam up further.

"I don't know how to tell you," she whispered, her eyes staring down at the pillow in her lap. The fabric wrinkled beneath her desperate fingertips. "I…I had to break up with Gladio, this morning."

Prompto's eyes widened, and her mouth slipped open soon after, but it didn't quite look like shock written across her face. Noctis couldn't point it out. "Wh…what happened?" Prompto asked, her voice unsteady.

Noctis reared back a bit, looking up at the ceiling. "It wasn't right. I'm not…I couldn't…" Noctis winced. She felt so trapped, like she was tip-toeing on the edge of a cliff, and a hurricane was blowing all around her. She was teetering into danger with the thinnest protection, but she only wanted to toss herself over the edge, just to end the anticipation. "It never felt right, Prom. Being with a guy didn't feel right."

There. There, she'd said it. Mostly, right? It counted, didn't it? Prompto could read between the lines, and if she didn't, then Noctis could still brush it off. It was easy, she could still—

Lips. Lips, warm and soft. Lips against hers, kissing her.

Prompto was kissing her.

Something inside Noctis short-circuited, like Prompto was lightning striking inside her. She was frozen, but only for a moment before her hands went for Prompto, moving entirely on instinct. When she buried her fingers into soft blonde hair, Prompto slipped her hands onto Noctis' waist, and they held one another. The kiss was sweet, Prompto's mouth soft and warm as she pressed her lips against Noctis'. It was like a fucking lightbulb clicking on and the entire world bathed in light. All of the unwanted advances in her time with a man, all of her days spent lying awake and wondering what was different, all of the times Noctis looked at another woman and pretended she didn't feel anything. All of that came shining into the light, and it all finally felt like it made sense. It all finally felt okay.

Noctis traced her hand against Prompto's jawline, her thumb stroking against the defined line to cup the blonde's face. She could have drowned in the kiss, but she and Prompto were tragically human, and they had to breathe. It was Prompto who broke it, but she didn't go far, her forehead leaning against Noctis' as they breathed against one another's lips. "Fuck," Noctis exhaled, and she felt Prompto giggle more than she heard it. Prompto shifted, her arms circling around Noctis to hug her, her palms pressing beneath the raven's shirt.

"Did that feel right?" Prompto asked, hesitation coloring her tone the way her flush did her cheeks. Her hand still rested on Noctis' back, a soothing, soft weight that anchored Noctis safely.

Smiling, laughter bubbling in her chest, Noctis leaned forward to peck Prompto on the mouth again.

"Perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me to myself: you could have written this as canon, you didn't need to genderswap anything, why did you write like 15k of this?
> 
> Also me, at the top of my lungs at 3am: LESBIANS
> 
> This started off as a fun idea, but it morphed into what felt like a very intimate and personal project. Thank you to everyone who read this, I hope you all got something from it and that it could make you happy! 
> 
> (Whispers: I might write a fourth chapter, but it'd be nothing but smut. Only if anyone wants it, if you think the story is good as it stands, just let me know!)


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